Only You(BWWM)

Chapter 12- What Do We Do Now

  Paris.

  I never thought that it would be that easy. I mean there was a lot of crap that happened beforehand, but-- i never thought that accepting each other would be that easy. And it felt good. I never thought that I could be happy with Chase Daniels as a mate. Well, we really haven't done anything as mates considering that I'm still in this fucking hospital! I hate hospitals, I sat in one for hours on end when Chase's mother died and when my mother died. Safe to say, I fucking hate hospitals.

  "When are we leaving?" I groaned like a kid. I've been complaining and groaning for the past hour I believe that Chase is getting fed up with me, he's just trying not to show it. He wants to be a good mate. "You know that I still hear your thoughts right?" He asks from the bottom of my bed. My eyes snap to his, and his eyes are glinting with amusement. Shit! Now I'll never have any privacy, who the hell came up with this shit? "What a low, vulgar girl." He drew his words out slowly, tauntingly. "Well Jordan, this is not Gatsby, and stop prying on my thoughts!" I childishly put my hands over my ears as if that could block him out.

  He started pointing to his head mouthing "I can't hear them." I took my hands off of my ears with my eyes wide and asked "Really." He laughed and shook his head. "No, I still heard you." I kicked him playfully and he laughed at me again. I liked seeing him like this, laughing. He never really does it. He's always macho, and tough. I like this version of him way better. "Where is Jace?" I suddenly ask, he glares at me as his laughter ceases. I can't hear his thoughts anymore. He knows how to block them, and he won't teach me.

  "I told you I can't tell you that." He forced through gritted teeth. "Why not?" I pressed. Jace is my best friend and even though I accepted Chase, I still love him. "He betrayed his Alpha, Paris." He was getting annoyed with the subject, but I didn't care. "No, you didn't accept him yet, technically he was still a rogue." Which is true, I hadn't had my induction ceremony and neither had he. 

  "You just don't like him.'' Now I was the one becoming annoyed. "No, what I don't like is that he likes you." So that was why he was keeping Jace away. He thought that if Jace was free him and I would sneak around? Okay, I may have kissed him, but I'm not the type to cheat. I accepted him as my mate meaning that I'm ready for that responsiblity but I can't sit around happy while my best friend suffers.

  "I'm not going to do anything with Jace. Your my mate now, I wouldn't do that to you." I told him sincerely, he still looked upset. "You kissed him even though I was your mate." I stayed silent. What could I say? That I didn't do it? He saw me!

  "Yes, and I know that. But I was hurt by you, and I missed him, and in my head I had declared to myself that I loved him. That I was in love with him an-"

"And that's why I can't release him." He interrupted me growing angrier by the second. "Let me finish. I was wrong. I do love him, but I love you too Chase. I have since I was a toothless little girl and you beat up anyone who said anything against me. I love who you were before the tragic events. That's the boy that I spent summer nights and winter days thinking about." I paused for a moment to take in his expressions which were gradually decreasing.

  "The boy who my mother knew that I loved, the boy that she approved of. Then, then your mom-- she died." I began choking up sobs. "You started to hate my father for something that he had nothing to do with. Then you began trying to harm us and everyday that you tried to kill me my love for you slipped. Until all there was, was hate. I always wondered why you'd never complete the task though." Finally, I finally allowed my feelings to be heard. I finally told him how I really felt.

  "And now, I still love you. I love this dark and dangerousness about you. I don't love how cruel you are, and little do you know everything that you've ever done is sitting there haunting you. That's why bad things happen to you, and that's why you're so paranoid, because your actions are haunting you and you won't let them out. I love you, but I don't want you to suffer like that. Let it go." By this time he had moved closer to me. I took my palm and put it up against his face.