I'm done with the third book in the series! Now I move on to the fourth. I was late again today. Gosh. So dissatisfied and disappointed with my self. I take thimg for granted recently. It's so bad. Yesterday, I was late to sleep and my lullaby was an audiobook of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck. I don't finish whole book, not even finish chapter one I guess. My habit nowadays I need to listen to someone talking before get to sleep.
Today I plan to make some steak, I have few pieces english muffin left, some coleslow. Maybe I'll boil some carrot, and that is all for my meals today. I get few other work notifications, but decide not to entertain any. If I did, it is like telling others that I am 24 hours a day, 7 days a week head to toe live for work. It's not worth it.
So now, I need to make a move for zuhr and continue with my book again. So that I can finish the whole series by this month, and I'll be proud if able to do that by this week. But I will not pushing my self too much. I will enjoy the journey.
...
It's 2.am, widely awake.
Just finish 110 pages for today. It's raining again. God knows how I love rain.
I supposed to done with my reading earlier but I was attending webinar entitled "Early preparation for marriage." I did sign up for all three episodes of the webinar by Aiman Azlan. No, please don't be so early for conclusion. I'm not anytime soon ready or want to step into marriage things. I don't even have someone to married to. I'm just interested with the idea of being the better version of yourself, it's not about getting someone but being somebody. The speaker did highlight that before you are ready for a marriage you should prepare yourself with self love and well being. I do love that statement.
At this age, I'm hypocrites to tell that I never want to have someone to be with, I do feel loneliness sometimes, I don't want my parents being stressed over me and my sister status. But I've this sceptical thought about marriage, I don't know how and who. I'm still discovering my self and lots of thing to do. The webinar give some insight which I guess might help me to start. I'm not in the state where I eagerly need to find someone, but I want to learn more so I can decide which is which and able to objectify my decisions.
One thing that I realised after listening to the talk is I need to finish my study first. I have no time to sit back and relax anymore. I should be serious. Maybe I need some adjustments and new environment so I decide to set up learning corner inside my room. I guess I love to be in the closed and limited space. Maybe I've been in my 'bubble' for so long, then I thought my current workspace are too big with much distraction. I'm going to make more excuses if needed. I need to do this, finish this. And move on. I cannot put the blame om others for ever when I'm the one who choose not to move.
So, tomorrow morning I plan to go to town and get new study table and a shelf as my book shelves are all full while I'm having new books on its way. That's all and going back home, ah maybe I should get a digestive biscuit as I want to make some cheesecake. Later on, take my flour at my work. Then next week go to office and change my extension wire as the one I had in my room are shorter and the one I have at the office longer and it is not need to be as longer in my office working space.
So yeah. Till meet again. Good night. Or maybe good morning?
