December | Tom Holland x reader

14. December

Toms Pov.:

"Morning mate." he said when he walked in the kitchen.

"Morning sleepy." he laughed.

"Only because you wake up a hour earlier doesn't mean that i'm the sleepy one. Where is Y/N ?" he sat down.

"Still in her room. She didn't ate anything yesterday. I bring food for lunch in a hour." he said.

"Okay good but she needs to eat something. I really want that everything is normal again."

"Mate you really really like her, right ?" Haz asked.

"How couldn't i." he laughed.

"And why don't you tell her ? Maybe that's what she needs right now." he said with a smirk.

"Funny Osterfield. She doesn't like me back." he said.

Y/N Pov.:

He doesn't like me anymore. I destroyed my hole friendship with him. Now i have nothing. When i lose him, i lose his family and Harrison. I have nothing.

I had a panic attack. I wanted to stay up but i was too weak and fell down. I started to cry and hugged my legs and build a little ball on the floor. My breath became heavier and heavier.

"Y/N wha-" Tom ran in my room. Then he looked over to me. "Omg Y/N, what happened ?" he came to me and hugged me.But that only made me cry more. "Shhhh i got you."

"I-I'm s-sorry." was the only thing i could say.

"We talk later, just calm down now so that you can breath normal again." he said and stroked my head.

"Mate, is she-" Haz came in. "Oh uhm i let you guys alone.If you need anything than call me." he walked about and Tom thanked him.

"Come on breath with me. In... out... in... out." he talked to me and i breathed with him. "That's good. Can you stay up ?" i nodded and we slowly stood up.

"Thank you, you can go now." i said.

"I'm not leaving you until you told me why you did it." he said and closed the door again.

"Tom-"

"Not Tom. You had a panic attack and you wanted to kill yourself. I'm not going until you told me everything so that i can help you." he said.

"I- I can't." i said quiet.

"You can but you don't want. When did you start to not telling me everything ?" he said a little loud. "When did you start to throw our best friend ship in the trash ?"

"You always named me darling or another nickname when you say good night and yesterday not." i snapped a little back.

"Don't turn it around and say that this is my fault. You wanted to kill yourself before. You were ready to leave me, it leave us. You started to leave me when you stopped to talking to me." he screamed with a crack in his voice.

"I always talked to you-"

"No you don't. Whatever you talked with your brother, you didn't talked with me about that." he screamed and i saw tears in his eyes.

"Go." i screamed but he stayed. "I said go out of my room !"

"I say it again, i will not leave your room if you didn't talked to me." he crossed his arms.

"If you would know that, than you would hate me even more that you do now." i said quiet.

"I never said that i hated you, i'm just sad that you don't trust me anymore." he said.

"I trust you."

"Then why did you want to kill yourself ?" he screamed.

"BECAUSE I KILLED MY PARENTS, OKAY ?" i screamed back with tears. He looked shocked at me. "You wanted to hear that."

"You didn't killed your parents." he said quiet.

"I did. It's my fault why they are death." i said quiet.

He came to me and sat down next to me on my bed. "Why do you say that ? Why do you think that and since when ?" he asked soft.

"They wanted to travel to me. If i wouldn't wanted to act that they would still be alive. I-If i would have traveled to them they also would still be alive. They died because of me. It costed me 2 years to realise that. He opened my eyes. He was right with killing my parents." i cried.

"Who ?"

"Alex. My brother Alex who didn't even invited me to their wedding." i said sarcastically.

"I know but know i hate him even more."

"How do you know ?" i asked.

"When we looked after you we drove to him and his wife opened the door. Then he told us about your talk but just that it was about your parents and we knew you always went to a sea after your parents died. And that's how we found you." he said.

I just nodded because i couldn't say anything.

"Look, Alex is dumb. I don't know why he thinks that but you didn't killed your parents. They are death because the plane crashed. You didn't wanted that they die. It's not your fault, okay ? And i want to get with you through everything. Talk to me even when it's 2 am in the morning, i will listen. But please don't do anything dumb anymore. I - We couldn't live without you." he put his hand over mine and draw circles with his thumb.

"I just thought that it would be fair. He said that i killed them and that he doesn't want me in his life anymore. I thought when i just go than everything would be easy again."

"You would always be sad because of your parents but you didn't killed them. And when he want you out of his life than he is dumb. He doesn't see how funny, smart and gorgeous you are. Maybe he would lose you but we would. I would, Haz, my family, his family. We all would lose a person who means a lot to us." he said.

I hugged him. "Thank you. I promise that i won't to anything like that again."

"Perfect and now go down with me and eat something. You didn't ate since i don't know when." he laughed and pulled me out of my room.

"There is the beautiful smile again." Haz said when we walked down. "How was the talk ?"

"Great, she told me everything about why she wanted to kill herself." Tom said.

"Nothing more ?" Haz asked but i looked confused at him. "Okay never mind. Let's eat something and watch a movie. Oh and Y/N you also need to tell me everything that happened and why."

We all sat down ate food, watched movies and talked. "I swear if i see this bastard ever again then i will kill him." Haz said.

"Luckily for him, we will never see him again." i smiled.

I realised that Veronica was right. I lost some family members but i still had the best ones right beside me. We laughed the hole day and just chilled in the living room. How could i ever thought about to leave these persons ?