Storyteller | JHS ✓

Chapter thirteen; Inner Child Pt.2

'ello 'ello 'ello!!! I am bacc! It's a wonder how I managed to make it in time ;_; this story really be acting more and more like a webtoon XDD 

anyhoo as a little treat i decided to photoshop something for this chapter!!

I will not admit how long it took me to photoshop a simple hat and jacket over taehyung along with the cards. 

But anyway, happy lunar new years if you celebrate it, and if not, then just have a wonderful day in general! I thank each and every one of you readers, even a single comment brightens up my day significantly! 

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ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛɪɴɢɪɴɢ ᴀɪʀ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ

ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴀꜱʜʏ ꜱᴛʀᴇᴇᴛꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ꜱᴏ ᴄᴏʟᴅ

ɪ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ ɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏᴏʀ

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Kim Taehyung woke up the next morning to noise. A lot of noise. Usually, that wouldn't surprise him. It was a fair, a carnival for christ's sake! He was used to shouts of joy from the moment he woke up.

But not this time. It wasn't cheers of anticipation--the sweet sounds of children's laughter-- but rather murmured, hushed whispers. And what's more, cameras clicking. The unmistakable sound of photos being taken by a professional.

He knew what was going on.

In an instant, he threw off his covers and got dressed, not bothering to brush his teeth or wash his face. It was only moments before the sounds of cameras clicking increased in volume. Reporters surrounded his house as if it were the apocalypse, and he was the only one who had clean water.

He ran a hand through his uncombed raven locks and envisioned the news headlines.

'Ex-Korean idol Kim Taehyung became a traveling carnival master shortly after the disbandment.'

He shook free of the horrid thoughts, not allowing himself to think of his hard work being destroyed. But even so, Taehyung couldn't breathe. The walls of his quaint home enclosed around him, suffocating him, spinning around and around until his vision blurred.

He threw open the door and pushed past the mass of shutter-clicks and white flashes, blocking the lenses of cameras and hiding his face. He felt dizzy. His breathing became shallow and constricted. The magician only found momentary peace hiding behind the carousel--the carousel a certain boy had a fond liking toward.

'Easy now,' he thought to himself, easing his rapid breathes, 'Breathe in. Breathe out.'

'Hey! Where did he go?!'

Taehyung had to act fast before he was found again. Summoning the strength to his legs, he stood up. But before he could run, another voice spoke up.

'He went over to the cotton candy stand.'

Who was this knight in shining armor rescuing him? Who was this angel willing to sacrifice themself to save a problematic ex-idol? From their voice, they were a woman, he concluded.

The heavy pitter-patter of footsteps slowly decreased until the atmosphere was left with a tranquil air.

The ex-idol held his breath.

'They're gone. You can come out now.'

The woman's voice sounded familiar, like a friend of a friend. Tentatively, Taehyung stepped out behind the carousel horse, ignoring the glances from the boy.

The woman started first, 'You probably don't remember me. I'm...I was his mother...'

He would've strangled her if she hadn't saved him.

'I know! I know!' she stuttered out, 'I kick myself every day for abandoning him. I regret it, you know...'

Taehyung gritted his teeth, 'Regret won't make him any happier! Regret won't erase the years of trauma you've put on his shoulders! Regret won't erase the fact that you abandoned him at a carnival much like this one! Regret won't...'

He choked back a cry, 'Regret won't bring him back...'

'I know...I know it won't.' She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, my regrets won't do me any good. But yours won't either. It wasn't your fault, you know. It was mine.'

The hat Taehyung wore was tossed to the ground, dirt settling onto its purple satin lining, 'I don't need to hear that from you. I didn't help my Hyung when he needed it. That makes me just as much of a degenerate.'

The boy on the wooden horse gazed over the duo.

'You didn't mean to, though. You wanted to help him, didn't you? But you didn't know how. You feel bad about it too. Truly guilty people are proud of their ill deeds.'

She paused, 'And you aren't.'

It seemed that the roles of the boy and the magician had switched. For it was Kim Taehyung's turn to be bitter.

'And your point is? There are plenty of abusers who are filled with grieve for ever landing a hand on their children. There are plenty of murderers who apologize until their hair recedes and their cheeks sag. But the abusers still beat their kids. The murderers still ended a life. No matter what kind of guilt a person feels, their actions still have consequences that will never be absolved no matter how much they repent.'

The boy stood silent, looming over Taehyung, feeding on his words.

But the woman persisted, 'If you're saying all of this, then that must mean you look down on those who did commit those crimes, correct? Even if they spend the rest of their lives doing nothing but good?

'The reason why you cannot love is that you have no love for yourself. Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, it's that we learn from them and move on is what makes us human. But you haven't moved on. You've been slaving away at this carnival because of him; because of me. If you do not move on, then nobody will do it for you! '

Suddenly, the walls Taehyung had built around himself crashed down. He let out tears that haven't seen daylight for years-- he let his true self hatch from his perfectly-made visage. He hadn't even cried at the funeral: not when his casket was lowered nor when he gave a speech. He wept out his sorrows and guilt.

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.'

But his cries were left unheard as she had already left, leaving Taehyung only with her words.

He looked over to the carousel, expecting the boy's hard gaze, trying to find solace within his unforgiving eyes.

But the horse carved from basswood sat empty. 

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a/n: Here's something to gnaw on while you wait another week: the boy on the carousel and the woman are both metaphors for something...try to figure out what that is :D

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 follow these wonderful people!

@cherryficss - "fate" & "signal"

@ninjakoko - "The Night of Horror"