Phantom Thieves Side Stories

Bathhouse Mishaps

This will be a two parter.

Anyway enjoy!

Hokkaido

Akito's POV

Hokkaido. We are basically close to nature itself. Last time I was here was with my parents. It tends to snow there so we'd go there for snow and just be a normal family. I was going to the bathhouse with the boys. Last time we did that together was in Yongenjaya. Oh fuck yeah. This is so smoothing.

Ryuji: Ahhhhhh. Now this is paradise.

Yusuke: I'll say. The heat has crept up into my bones.

Ren: The temperature's perfect.

Yusuke: I've learned a valuable lesson on this journey: sometimes, you simply need to enjoy being naked.

Me: Ren, I agree with you. Yusuke, I am so into bliss and not want that haunting image in me. I have to recommend this spring to my future J-SAT buddies.

Ryuji: And that means...what exactly? Anyways, it's nice having a bath like this all to ourselves. Can't get that at home.

Me: Amen, Ryuji.

The water knows my stress points. I feel all my troubles at Tokyo Metropolitan Police is fading.

Yusuke: What's more, we're in the middle of a long journey. We need to take proper measures to recover our strength and stamina...

Futaba: Whoa, Ann. Are those CGI?!

Futaba? She's on the other side of this wall. The girls baths are right there.

Futaba: What cheat codes did you use to get those? Dieting lifehacks? You're so skinny, yet-

Ann: Could you stop drawing attention to me? Go bother Haru instead—hers are no different. Kagura wouldn't mind either.

Kagura: Leave me out of this, Takamaki.

Haru: Stop it!

Futaba: Haru, not bad. These could knock someone flat!

Makoto: Would you please keep it down? Remember, it's not only us in here.

Kagura: Makoto is right. This is a unisex bath, but a barrier to keep it gender friendly. Futaba! No touchy there. That's sensitive.

Futaba: Got me some rocker body in my hands.

Sounds like the girls are having a time. And when did Futaba become so bold? And touching Kagura like that. She'd knock someone the fuck out if someone made contact with her.

Ren: Looking good, Ryuji.

Me: Ren, did you open up your homosexuality while I was gone?

Ryuji: Aw, thanks. I've been working these abs...Wait, what?

Is there something that they're not telling me?

Ryuji: Man this water feels great. Morgana really shoulda been here.

Me: He really is missing out. But the myth of cats despising water is becoming real.

Yusuke: Sophia might like it as well. Though, being incorporeal may pose a challenge

Synopsis: Sophia, or Sophie, is an AI that resides in another reality called jails. She allies herself with the Phantom Thieves and aids them in battle. She's like Yui from Sword Art Online.

Ryuji: She really is a mystery ain't she? What're your thoughts on her?

Ren: She's humanity's companion.

Ryuji: That much is obvious, but didn't she say something about wanting to understand people's hearts?

Me: I have a feeling that's like happened with someone in the Kirijo group.

Yusuke: Ah the heart of mankind. Try as I may, I have yet to depict its full essence in my paintings. It hides both darkness and light, mingling beauty and atrocity in its depths. Try as you may to unravel it, its enigma grows deeper still.

Ryuji: Hmmm, not sure I can comment on that.

Me: I can say in some words of poets since art and poetry are in the same category. Take some works of Pablo Neruda and Murasaki Shikibu and the arts of Thomas Kinkade and Andy Warhol. That is what Yusuke is explaining.

Ryuji: But I do know Sophia gets along with all of us. Gets me thinking she might not need to worry about all that heart stuff.

Ren: She does it so she can grow.

Me: Like children.

Yusuke: Both of you have logical conclusions, particularly for a sentient program. Understanding the heart would certainly fit prove helpful.

Ryuji:...yeah what you said. She seems pretty dead set on it, too.

Yusuke: If thats what Sophia has decided, we should lend her our full support. She is our precious ally, after all.

Me: No one gets left behind. That's our unofficial motto for the Phantom Thieves.

Ryuji. True enough, you two. She could use all the help she can get. Damn, the heat's starting to get to me. Wanna ditch the bath and grab some milk coffee?

Ren: I'll take strawberry milk instead.

Me: Throwback to elementary school. But yeah. Coffee milk is good though. Gets me through my mornings dealing with rowdy people.

Ryuji: That sounds good too. Now I can't make up my mind.

Yusuke: I protest. We are in Hokkaido, as you may recall. It would be a sin to forego its fresh dairy offerings for some artificial substitute. To appreciate it properly, we must partake right as it's squeezed from the udder—the way farmers have done for millennia.

Me: You're looking to get sick, dawg? Haven't you ever heard of pasteurization? Drink milk without it, you can get sick very easily.

Ryuji: Uh, yeah. Knock yourself out, man.

To be continued.....