Departed

Chapter 33: Grief

Harumi's POV

     Darkness.

     I couldn't see, feel, or hear anything. The darkness was my companion; it swirled within and around me, letting me float in its painless abyss. I couldn't think; I couldn't grasp anything. The darkness might feel suffocating to some, but to me, it was everything I needed. The darkness carried no lies, it carried the weight of no sacrifices, and it carried an illusion that spared me from the ugly truth. I was content in it, and it in me.

     Voices.

     Words buried their way into my haven, burdened with pleas and tears. So many emotions came with the voices, even if I couldn't understand what they were saying. Pity, hurt, sorrow. Why were the voices sad? What could possibly have happened to make them miserable? If only they could find the darkness. Then, they would be content.

     I did not know how long I stayed wrapped in the fuzzy world of nothing. I'm not sure when the voices started to worm their way in. All I know is that they became clearer over time. If I kept waiting, perhaps one day they would become clear enough to understand. Something inside me wanted to understand them; some part of me wanted to shrug off this false reality to see the world once again. However, the voices were sad, and I was happy. If I tried to understand them, I would probably have to join in their sorrow. Surely the real world wasn't as comfortable as this one.

     But the voices persisted. Each syllable cut sharper than a knife, igniting pain within me I didn't know I had. Suddenly I could feel limbs; suddenly I could twitch and it would cause more pain than my mind could handle. Suddenly the world was not comfortable, but a world of agonizing eruptions and tears. Why was I in so much pain? Why did every time I try to reach out to those voices, I ended up barely breathing because of the anguish in my chest?

     As time passed, I started to understand the words that pleaded to me over and over again. Every time I heard them; it was like a knife digging into my skull of a reality I didn't want to face. But the real world was imminent, and I couldn't escape the words that begged me to come back.

     Wake up.

     Please, come back.

    We can't lose you too.

    Wake up, Harumi.

    Somewhere in the blurriness of it all, my eyelids became heavy. My fingers twitched, sending sparks of pain up my arms. The world was a bright reality hidden behind a thin layer of skin. I couldn't move; something was holding me in place. I wanted to thrash until I figured out what was keeping me captive. However, I knew the pain that would accompany the action. My mind whirled for the first time in forever, trying to grasp the situation. Out of desperation I tore open my eyes, banishing the darkness from my mind.

     I wanted to yell, wanted to scream, but somehow no sound made it out of my mouth. I swallowed, the action feeling unfamiliar. It was as if I hadn't functioned in days, months, years. How long was I unconscious? How long had I been restrained? How long since the demons had dragged me away to torture me in an endless session of pain?

     Memories came flooding back with each second.

     Lloyd's courage as he resisted the Overlord. The Overlord's wicked grin as he plunged the sword down into my heart. My peace as I let it happen.

     I must have blacked out when I landed in the Departed Realm. The demons must have dragged me away and wanted to wake me up so my torture would worsen. Yet, the more I looked at the small area I was enclosed in, the more I felt like I wasn't in the Departed Realm at all.