Between Coffee And Cigarettes

-24-

The following days were quiet. With Sirius and Lenny keeping more to themself, the house was less alive and although James desperately tried to cheer them up, it didn't help. It was almost as if they were just a picture of themselves. At some point, Euphemia found out and not long after that, Fleamont knew too. Now it was not a secret anymore what their brother would become and Lenny didn't knew if she felt relived or more caged with her parents knowing.

The days began to blur into each other, while she just stayed in bed. She barely ate anything and the only time of day she got up, was when she had to go to the toilet. Shiva was always by her side tho and snuggled into her lap or onto her side. Pulling the blanket over her head, she just wanted to disappear, to stop time, to do anything to prevent Regulus from his faith. But she couldn't. She felt powerless.

On Christmas Eve, she finally got out of bed, for real. She showered, brushed her teeth and put on a more festive outfit. When she looked in the mirror, she didn't know if she should feel happy or sad.

Today was the day. Today Reg would receive the Dark Mark. And she wouldn't be there for him, not anymore at least. But she wanted to be with her family today. She wanted to go downstairs and have a marvelous dinner with much laughter, conversation and happiness. Torn between those two feelings, she chose the option, which she could control.

Lenny brought herself to smile and then made her way downstairs, into the living room, where everyone was already gathered. Sirius sat next to the record player and was currently putting on a vinyl. James, who didn't seem particularly interested in Sirius' love for muggles music, sat not far away from him, though, on the carpet, polishing two mirrors. And Euphemia and Fleamont sat on a small table, playing chess. It looked like Euphemia was winning, which probably had to do with the flirty and sultry looks she gave her husband between moves.

After Sirius finally turned on the turntable, Lenny settled down next to him, enjoying the music and the vibrations you could feel if you just were close enough.

The time for Christmas Eve dinner rolled around and although, the last hour, Lenny had laughed dearly since a good week, she felt a slight tug in her chest when her thoughts drifted, just for a second, to Regulus.

Dinner looked and smelled mouth dripping and Creedy and Euphemia had clearly outdone themselves. James and Sirius insisted of getting compliments and praises for their "perfectly peeled" potatoes and Fleamont then teased them all dinner long with pointing out every tiny, visible flaw to his own amusement. And even Creedy, who always ate Christmas dinner with them (even if it always meant days of arguing with and convincing of the eve), allowed himself one or two cheeky remarks.

The table was filled with laughter and love and as the evening drew to a close, their stomachs were stuffed with food and wine, which seemed to affect Fleamont and Euphemia the most. The couple giggled and exchanged kisses more than they normally would, but Lenny didn't complain. She loved to see them like that; so in love, even after so many years. And she also could see it in Sirius' and James' face that, in this moment, they wished themselves nothing more than such love.

When Lenny laid in her bed, late at night that day, she allowed herself ten minutes of crying for Regulus. After these ten minutes, she would stop. Not stop grieving or missing him, but worrying and sobbing for him. He made his choice and she had to accept that. With that last thought, she rolled onto her side and fell asleep.

"Wake up, Smurf!", a voice said loudly, when Lenny was in her dreamy wonderland. "Wake up what?", she asked with a dry throat and grogginess in her eyes. As soon as she blinked enough and rubbed her eyes vigorously, she saw Lily standing in front of her bed, hand prepped up on her hips and with a huge smile.