It's Not Too Late (Sad KiriBaku AU) Discontinued

Chapter 3

A/N: To clear something up, in the Flashback section which you will see later in this chapter, everything that is written in italics stands for something that happened in the past. So the conversation between Kirishima and Bakugo (which is split up into sections, but still written in italics) happened in the past, but the normal text is just present Kirishima reflecting on what he did back then (sorry if it sounds confusing, I just wanted to make sure everybody gets this)

Ok, enjoy the chapter!

I went from home, to the hospital, to the beach, and now I was back home. I was laying down on the bed, shuffling uncomfortably from side to side. I wasn't used to sleeping alone, and it hurt even worse to know that the main reason for that was me anyway. I stared at the empty side of the bed for a long time. Everything around me was quiet, too quiet. Today was the day I officially decided I hated silence, nothing good can come out of it, plus it creates an awkward atmosphere. I kept on staring at Kat's side of the bed, hoping that all that was happening was just a horrible nightmare from which I'd soon enough wake up from. All I was hoping for now, was for Katsuki to magically appear next to my side and scold me for staring at him.
As a couple of hours passed by and I came to the way too obvious realisation that I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, I got out of the bed and turned the lights on.
As I was standing around deciding on what I could possibly be doing at 4 am in the morning, a thought hit me, a terrible thought hit me. 'What if Katsuki...had more than just a simple blade hidden in the room'. The idea that my boyfriend kept the fact that he was going through all of this hidden from me hurt me, but the idea that my boyfriend might've been showing obvious signs that he needed help, and I didn't notice them, hurts me more than any pain I've ever felt before. I was aware that going through my boyfriend's stuff without asking him was wrong, I tried to make myself feel less guilty by truly believing in the statement that 'I was doing this for his own safety', but... no matter what I would've said or done about snooping through my lovers stuff, wouldn't have made it feel less wrong. After overthinking it for a while, I slowly stepped closer to my boyfriend's nightstand. 'Here goes nothing' I said to myself while sitting down on the cold, wooden floor. What he had on the nightstand seemed pretty normal. I started mumbling all the objects I could see to myself; "a book, a charger, his phone (which I placed there earlier), a remote control for the TV in our room, a bottle of pills, a pair of headphones, wait a second, a bottle of pills?". I took the small plastic bottle into my hand and analyzed it suspiciously. "No label..." I stated out loud in a disappointed voice. I opened the lid to be met by some fairly medium sized, baby blue, round pills. "Now that I think about it, I think he did mention something about taking pills a while ago..." I tried my best to remember when he'd mentioned them, only to be painfully reminded by the way I reacted.

Flashback

The sun was shining, and I was making coffee, it seemed like a perfectly good morning back then, how could I have been so careless?
"Hey Kat, so you won't believe the dream I had. No matter how many times I replay it in my head, it doesn't seize to make me laugh so I--"
"Hey um"
Bakugo shily stated while looking at his hands. I obviously noticed he was playing with them, something he only does when he's nervous about something, but I just...ignored him.
"I just felt like letting you know that, I started taking some pills..."
Back then I just kept on talking and talking. Now that I'm really visualizing the scene, even Katsuki's expression was a bit...off.
"So, um they're sleeping pills, no need to worry about me if you see me taking them".
I remember. I remember how back then I just so carelessly replied with
"Great for you, why should I worry. Can I continue my story now?".
God, I just can't believe how much of a moron I had been that day.

End of Flashback

Now that I really think about it, Kat's body language was his way of letting me know that he would've wanted some support on the matter, his way of letting me know that he needed someone to show him that as any other person, he mattered. He most likely relied on me to be that person, he's boyfriend, but all I did was to ignore what he said and move on, as if any other healthy person takes sleeping pills.
Looking back at it now, I can't understand how I could've been so selfish. Looking back at it now makes me wonder how many more times something like this happened.
"There's nothing I could have possibly done to deserve you Kat, literally nothing. You've been amazing, both as a hero and as a lover. You've always liked to brag about your job and how awesome you are, but I...I just failed to notice how in the past couple of months you went completely silent. And now...you're going through all this pain, because of me...the one person that was supposed to love you more than anything in this world."
I started crying loudly. Heartbreaking sobs were escaping my throat. I stood up, closed the lights, snuck back into bed, and snuggled my face into Kat's pillow. This made me feel a bit better given the given circumstances, but I just couldn't stop crying. 'How could I have been so blind?!' I kept on asking myself over and over again.

At this point, it became very clear to me that what was happening right now was not a dream, it was the sad and cruel reality.

A/N: I promise I'll try to have a more consistent upload schedule

Published: 13th of March 2021

The Story: 924 words