It's Not Too Late (Sad KiriBaku AU) Discontinued

Chapter 7

I was awakened by a loud knock on the door. I was sitting on the floor with the sharp shard in my hand and my broken phone by my side. 'What the hell...' I thought to myself as I placed my hand by my right ear, all I felt was my skin. I dropped the shard and stared at the floor. 'I'm going crazy' I thought to myself. I heard another loud knock on the door accompanied by Mina's yelling. "I'm slowly turning crazy" I whispered to myself trying my best to keep quiet. "I'm going fucking insane" I finally screamed as loud as I could, my mouth smiling, but my heart aching. I was laughing, but I wasn't anywhere near happy. "I'm crazy!" I yelled as loud as the last time. I curled myself into a ball, my hands gripping my hair tightly, everything around me was blurry, I didn't know what was happening and that scared me. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I SAID I'M FUCKING SORRY!" I exclaimed, shutting my eyes as tight as I could. "I'm dying" I happily exclaimed through my choked up laughter. "I'm getting what I deserve for hurting a perfect human being!" I yelled at the top of my lungs while abruptly standing up. "Here! Take me instead! I'm the one that you want, he did nothing wrong! You can torture me, use me, abuse me in any way shape or form just let him live a happy life in which I don't fucking ruin everything!" I scream looking towards the ceiling. My breaths are heavy and my vision is foggy, I can hear keys jingling in front of my door, but at that given moment that didn't matter.

Without thinking too much about it my feet make their way to the bathroom and my hands turn on the faucet to the bathtub. As I stare at the bathtub filling up drop by drop I say to myself "My thoughts are not my own anymore, I hear and see things that aren't there. I hurt the only thing I ever cared about, my lover, my best-friend, my hero. So please, if you must claim another life, I'm begging you, let it be me". With clouded thoughts, anguish and no hesitation, I stick my head in the bathtub taking in a deep breath. My lungs are burning and my body is desperately opposing taking in water instead of air. I can hear somebody yelling my name in the distance but I couldn't care less about it, all I can feel is the burning sensation of my lungs and my trachea as they attempt to reject the clear, unwanted liquid entering my body. It's painful and yet somehow so peaceful, a sensation so pleasant that it's hard to describe it with words. I was losing track of my thoughts, not that I was in the right place of mind anyway. Little black dots started engulfing my vision, I would soon enough be free. As I let myself enjoy the feeling of slowly slipping away in my own pity and sorrow, a pair of hands grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me out of the water. I fell back desperately gasping for air and not managing to obtain it, but was quickly sat back up by the same pair of hands that pulled me out. I immediately started coughing out all the water I had taken into my lungs. By the time I had finished getting about all of it out, my throat had started hurting and water started spilling out of the bathtub. I regained my senses and was finally able to properly see and hear everything again. To my right was nobody other than the person who had saved me, Mina. She stared at me in disbelief, with a look full of fear and anger. "What are you doing you idiot!?" she yelled right into my ear. "Have you lost you fucking mind, what were you thinking!?" she screams once again, this time her voice weakening towards the end and her words mixing in with sobs. "Why would you do that to yourself...we care and still need you, you moron, Bakugo still needs you!" she spoke with a trembling voice while weakly hitting my chest with both her hands. As I heard her mention Bakugo it actually hit me, what was I doing? My Kat is unconscious and all alone lying in a hospital bed and I'm trying to take away my life. After all I've done I can't even stand up and accept the consequences, I try to fix the problem by running away like a coward. I try to fix the problem by doing what Kat did to everybody else, giving up, passing my problems and all of my negative thoughts and emotions to somebody else, and for what? Katsuki had a reason. He outlived others going through the exact pain as him by months, but the reasoning behind my actions was weak.

My eyes slowly became glossy and without realizing it, I pulled Mina into a tight hug. With tears prickling at the corner of my eyes, threatening to spill out any second I managed to whisper a silent "Thank you", "Thank you so much".

I sensed the confusion Mina felt as I embraced her, but she quickly hugged back as she understood that right now all I needed was to know that someone reciprocates my pain, at least to some extent.

I wasn't the only one suffering due to Kat's sudden attempt to part ways with all of us. He was loved and cherished by many; he was a great friend, son and lover.

It's hard to put a finger on the hollow part of my heart and understand whether it existed because I was terrified to see if Katsuki will ever have it in him to forgive me or because I had long lost hope that he'll ever forgive me. Maybe it was a bit of both, but mainly it was an empty, dark void that I knew very well only he could ever fill again.

Both of us continued sobbing on the floor in each other's arms, finally getting the warmth and comfort we had been yearning for a while, letting it all out. All the frustration and the regret and the pain. Oh, that indescribable pain, it was all getting unraveled at this very moment, and to some extent it felt good to finally be able to let it all out. I could feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and most importantly, off of my heart.

* * *

3 hours had already passed since the 'bathroom incident'. Mina didn't really mention it again and I wasn't gonna be the fool and bring it up first, I liked the way things were now. Nothing much really happened in the past couple of hours except for the fact that Mina sent me to take a shower in the shower cabin placed in the guest bathroom while she started cleaning up the mess I had made in the apartment (especially the living room). After finishing my shower and changing into a red tank top and a pair of black jeans, I headed to the living room only to be blinded by sun and welcomed by the smell of food and air freshner. I had completely forgotten how the living room looked due to the depressing state it had been in for the past month. While looking around the room I spotted Mina sitting at the countertop, pointing at the chair next to her, an indication for me to sit down. My amazement grew even wider as I stared at the home cooked meal in front of me, all that I had eaten in the past week had been instant noodles or nothing. "When did you have time to do all this?" I asked pleasantly surprised while taking a bite out of my food. "A magician never reveals their secrets" she answered with a smile on her face. "You even fixed the broken counter" I happily exclaimed "But what's up with this table cloth?" I asked with a confused look on my face. "Honey, there's no way anybody can fix that counter, it's the equivalent of a warzone. While I went out grocery shopping besides buying aliments, plates and cutlery I also bought a plank of wood, placed it on top of the counter and covered it with a tablecloth" Mina answered smirking. "Now, of course you can't just buy a plank of wood from a grocery store, so I bought a whole flower pot arrangement, where the plank of wood was home and the base to multiple flower pots so please keep in mind that the temporary yet efficient replacement of your 'new countertop' has some hollow shaped circles in various different locations. Oh! Also, if you don't start gardening soon enough, I wasted my money on 12 flower pots for nothing". By the end of the sentence, Mina was panting due to the speed she had talked with. She gave me a smile and I smiled back at her, and for a while we continued our meal in silence.

Both of us tried bringing out different conversation starters, trying our best to ignore the elephant in the room, or better put Katsuki's 'misfortune'. Since Bakugo had...well, attempted suicide, the house hadn't been lively nor anything like it was before for quite a long while, heck I hadn't been lively and anything like I was before for a long time. It still isn't as lively as it used to be, it will never be as lively as it used to be without Kat here, but through small talk it kind of felt nicer, and homier in a way.

Mina was telling me about what had been going on in her life recently, when her phone suddenly rang. She carefully took it out of her jacket and answered: "Hello?" she spoke with a slightly confused tone and expression on her face. "Yes, I'm Mina Ashido. How may I help you?" The room went quiet for a while before I saw a gleam in Mina's eyes and heard her continue the conversation, her timber consisting of a mix of disbelief, relief and a bit of joy. "Thank you for letting me know, I really appreciate it, we'll be there in 20 minutes!" she spoke before hanging up. "What happened?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. Mina seemed very excited to speak when suddenly worry took over her face, she looked at me and then back at her phone, it seemed to me as if she was deliberating whether or not to tell me. "Listen, if it's none of my business then you don't have to tell me–" I had started saying, but before I could finish I got cut off by Mina who said "Bakugo is awake".

Word count: 1818

Published : 9th of January 2022 

A/n: I don't really do author notes on this AU (I'm not sure why though), but I just wanted to wish everybody a happy new year! Stay safe and I wish you a beautiful 2022! ^^