The Lord of the Crows

Part 16 - No Time to Apologize

She closed the door and, with her eyes closed, leaned her back against it. She was pale, paler than usual, and her hands trembled faintly, supporting her, seeking security in the warmth and firmness of the wooden door.

After a few deep breaths her breathing stopped abruptly, and I knew she was aware of my presence. I was silent, waiting for her to speak first.

"I am not going to apologize for my actions."

I nodded, knowing she was still watching me through half-closed lashes.

"Neither am I."

She opened her eyes and stepped away from the door. I withstood, without a word, the look of those olive eyes, penetrating through me.

"Why did you come?"

"To apologize."

She raised her eyebrows.

"You came to apologize, but you don't want to apologize?"

I nodded, not taking my eyes off her. I knew a part of her understood what I was saying.

"And that's where we'll end the debate."

I walked over and put my palms on her shoulders, lightly, so she wouldn't slip away. It was as much of a compromise as I could make.

"Please," I whispered, "we have something much more serious to discuss ... It's about the Sanctuary."

She motioned for me to sit down.

"The Sanctuary always takes precedence."

Uhhh ... I turned around and chose to sit on a tripod. Daina decided to remain standing even though away enough not to create the feeling of discomfort and supremacy. I started incoherently, upside down, but she listened to me carefully, getting more and more serious along the way.

"Daina", I finally broke, "I have a plan, but ..."

"But?"

I rubbed my forehead.

"I ... I need to talk to the captain of your guard."

She inhaled deeply and turned away from me. I watched her silhouette as she stared at the fire thoughtfully and wondered about when exactly I had lost my mind. It was one thing to tell her my doubts, and even to expose to her a plan that took shape in my head, but the moment I stepped outside the confines of the Sanctuary ... Despite her influence - I knew I was untouchable here - there was a fine line between the Lagrenian guard listening to me and helping us and sending me to my death.

"I can send for them, but they are forbidden to stay here, except in an emergency ...", she finally said. "In the village, ... in the village, they may refrain, but if I take you out of our borders, Lord Tenep will ask for your head. Of his entire clan, only his youngest daughter survived the Third War and the Bloody Gorge. If he decides to challenge you ..."

She turned to me. Her eyes now turned from olive green to a shade of blue and I could feel the suffering she was trying to hide.

"If he decides to challenge you and invokes the First Law of Lagrena, there is nothing I can do about it."

I got up and stepped towards her, but her posture was still repulsive and rigid.

"If he decides to challenge me, I will gladly respond to the challenge, provided that he first helps us keep the Sanctuary safe. Duty, above all."

She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.

"You will die. You are not able to ride or fight. You will die, with a sword in its scabbard."

"If it's meant to be, then yes," I shrugged.

I didn't want to admit her that with what my plan included, the certainty the duel would ever happen was negligible. Talking to the guard, unfortunately, was only half the job done. Despite the risk, it seemed to me that the talk itself was the easier part. What worried me was the fact that my plan included helping and endangering two other people I grew to care about, the old woman and Peck. But crows use knowledge, and this crow needed theirs.

"I'll make an appointment in the morning," she finally said. "I will see to it that the meeting is held on the Sanctuary's land."

I nodded and turned to go.

"Crow!", she called after me. "Never again question my word or my decision in front of others."

I paused. Those weren't exactly the words I had hoped for, but they gave me a chance.

"And in front of you? May I question your actions when we are alone? "

"Always," she murmured. "But outside these walls, the word of Daina of the Sanctuary is the law of the Sanctuary. Keep that in mind."

I sighed and turned.

"Daina of the Sanctuary heals, nurses, gives hope. She fights for her people, cares for their safety and does everything to make them safe. But that Daina is not a killer. The punishment may have been appropriate, but your anger, born out of the wrong reason, could have cost you an innocent life. That's why I got involved and I don't apologize for that. I know how difficult it is for you to manage this place and that is why I am sorry that my decision to interfere prevailed."

She looked at me for a few moments and then nodded.

"I understand." She approached me and grabbed my chin.

"You are a strange bird, my Crow. Very strange ... ", she murmured. She slowly pushed my face to side and looked at the cut on my cheek. "You should have asked Lela or someone to clean it for you. You will be left with a scar."

I shrugged and placed my hand on her side.

"Don't care," I pulled her closer, "though, if you wanted to mark me, you could have done it another way."

I bit my tongue right away. With the damned Lagrenians, the line between joke and trouble was very thin. She froze in my arms but didn't try to pull away.

"Be careful what you wish for, my Crow," I shuddered at her voice. She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes to look at the cut again. "It will make a nice scar, though."

I stopped breathing as she ran her fingers over my swollen cheek. She was dead serious.

"Don't play with fire, Crow, you could get burned," she finally burst out laughing. "And also, don't believe everything you hear about the Lagrenians ..."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and ran her fingers through my hair, pulling me closer.

"... though ... a nice scar...", I felt a barely audible whisper on my lips.