The Lord of the Crows

Part 14 - The Best of Intentions

A few days of peace were interrupted by her sudden departure into the dead of night. We were awakened by a knock and all I could see when she opened the door were the outlines of a gray cloak. I didn't ask anything, I just leaned over when she got up on her toes to kiss me and closed the door behind her. I spent the rest of the night staring at the fire, knowing she would not return until morning, reluctant to leave her bed and return to the cold and gloomy interior of my own house.

The day didn't start any better. Daina approved the making of a new device for the training room, and when I entered the training room, I was greeted by dust, noise and the bewildered young man. When I realized there was nothing from the morning exercises and that the kid was causing more mess than being useful - the craftsmen managed more than well on their own and with the help of drawings - I pulled him out and asked him to join me for a walk. After a few dozen steps, I repented. He fidgeted, looked around nervously when someone passed by and kept losing the thread of conversation. Eventually, I turned to the library even though it was too early, hoping he'd relax there while waiting for Ella to finish her duties and join us.

"Okay, what the hell is wrong with you today?!" I shouted annoyed when he made the same mistake for the third time in a row and ruined a new sheet of paper.

He lowered his head and stammered some apology. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"What's going on, Peck? You are the calmest and most focused person here, and today you are not at all with yourself. Craftsmen?"

He shook his head but did not look up.

"Peck?"

"Ella," he sighed. "I ... I asked her to marry me."

I put the book down. The day had just officially gone to hell.

"And?"

"She said she would answer me today ..."

I sighed and asked:

"Are you afraid she'd say no?"

"I'm afraid of whatever she decides," he stammered.

I felt sorry for the kid. I had an understanding for the hardships he was going through, but he couldn't choose a worse person to talk to about it.

"Why?"

"How, how do you know she's the one?"

I laughed.

"You'll be able to tell me that better. Do you believe Ella is the one?"

He nodded and his face lit up. Part of the nervousness disappeared when he started talking about her. He noticed and pointed out all those little things that I did not nor would I ever notice on her.

"But," he mumbled after a while, "how do I know if she's really the one? That it is going to last a lifetime?"

I raised an eyebrow, wondering how we ended up talking about this, like a woman to a woman. And how did the kid get down to talking to me about things like that?

"That day ...", he continued, "you said that your people are getting married for life."

I nodded.

"Many nations do that. Some even regulate it by law ... "

"But you don't ... Your people, like the Lagrenians, believe in marriage out of love and in love for a lifetime. How do you know it's real?"

I shifted. Holy Crow, why me?!

"That ... I don't know how to explain it to you. Mostly, it's not like in the stories. We don't recognize each other at the first sight, there's no some kind of magical connection ... At least not right away. It is said that the people of Lagrena instantly recognize their life companions, that they succumb to passion, but the Crows love with their heads cold. Don't get me wrong, it's nothing less powerful, less strong. "

"You're chattering again, you magpie!" Lela's laughter prevented a new question and saved me from the further torment. "Since when do war dogs share love advice?"

"Come on, old woman, do take this over, please," I waved at her.

Peck was all red, including his ears; he stared at the table and tried to mumble something.

"Son, you do not ask an old magpie for a love advice. If he had known better, a woman would be keeping him warm at night, not half-dry wood of the Sanctuary ..."

"Old woman, for your kind heart's sake, please stop, you're killing me!"

She turned and redirected the attack from the kid towards me:

"Well, are you married?"

"Nope."

"You see!" She snorted. "There is no wisdom here - no woman, no right to share marriage advice."

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I didn't say I didn't have a woman, just that I wasn't married."

She chirped.

"Even worse! The guy is getting ready to get married and you spoil him with stories about all kinds of women ... "

"Lela!" I exploded. "Mark my words. My women are none of your business and I don't want you to talk about it."

I turned to the kid and leaned over him, pressing my fists against the table.

"Peck, if you think she's the one, don't let her get away. I don't know if it's true, but the people of Lagrena say: you will want her by your side all the time, you won't desire another, you will hate someone else's touch, you will feel the urge to protect her and be protected as well. But you have to nurture and encourage that need over and over again. Crows say: Life is not sweet, it is more like a sack of salt. Marriage is like a dish that needs to be cooked so that the bag of salt is consumed, taking care not to oversalt the food."

I stepped back and turned to the startled Lela.

"Call me a magpie one more time, and I'll...!" I muttered and went to the shelves in an attempt to calm down. People had a very nasty habit of messing with other people's choices. If you got married - why did you get married. If you didn't get married - why did you not get married. And why don't you want to get married, as if it's always only up to you. If you got married young - you got married too early, if you got married old - what have you been waiting for... If you didn't have any children, why did not your dear wife want them, if you had children, then numerous plots could be made: gender, age, how many - too many or not nearly enough.

One way or the other, the crow is black, and people can't be pleased.

I looked out of the corner of my eye at Lela. She talked quietly with the kid, afraid to look in my direction. I shook my head.

She might have had the best intentions, but ... good intentions often ended up in evil deeds. Or, at the very least, painful ones. The old woman saw nothing wrong with her words. Generations listened and repeated to each other, conveyed same words without anyone ever even stopping to wonder whether those words actually hurt someone.

Damn, woman, did you really think I was a blind man who enjoyed the thought of spending the rest of his life all alone?