Everybody Loves Vegeta

Chapter 2

When Vegeta awoke the next morning, he knew something was wrong. The birds were screaming their heads off outside the window, so the storm must have cleared up in the early dawn. He reached forward to pull Goku's body closer to him, but the other side of the mattress was vacant.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced to his left. Goku stood at the entrance of the bedroom, face white as a ghost.

"What's your deal?" he growled. He stretched like a cat under the bed sheets and pulled himself up. I'm not going look like a slouch in front of Kakarot.

For some reason he felt really cold.

"Uh-oh," Goku said.

"Uh-oh what?" Vegeta ran his fingers through his hair and—

Huh?...What...

He tried to do it again.

"What the...what the fuck?" He felt faint. "What the fuck?" he said again, as if his profanity would ease his confusion. "What the fucking fuck?"

"Listen, Vegeta." Goku held up his hands, looking like someone surrendering to the police and free of any drug possession. "I need you to calm down. Okay?" He was also sweating profusely.

Vegeta ran to the chest of drawers in corner of the room and stared in the mirror.

All of his hair was gone.

"Kaka—kaka—"

"I don't know what happened last night, but I swear it wasn't my fault!" Goku cried. "Your hair, it was all over the pillow, and—"

Vegeta looked over at the bed. All of his beautiful Saiyan locks were on the bed sheets, pillows, and floor just chilling as if they had business being there. Every single...last hair follicle...

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Vegeta clawed at his scalp. His velvety, spiky locks, his pride, his manhood, his beauty, every single inch of it was gone! His head was more hairless than a starlet's crotch on the night of a red carpet event.

How the FUCK did this happen?! "Kakarot, a Saiyan dies with the same amount of hair on his head at the day he was born! This is an impossibility!"

Goku ran toward the bed and rummaged through his nightstand drawer. "Vegeta it's okay, I know how to fix this!" He pulled out a Sharpie and stood in front of Vegeta to save his eyes from the further onslaught of viewing his bald-egg head. He drew something on the Prince's forehead.

"Okay, look at it now!" Goku said with an innocent smile. Vegeta pushed him aside to get another glimpse of himself in the mirror.

"YOU FUCKING MORON!" Vegeta's face glowed red as a bright tomato. Goku had drawn two rows of six dots right where his widow's peak used to be.

"See, now you look like Krillen. Problem solved!"

"WHY WOULD I WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOUR WEAK, IDIOTIC, SHORT, BALD FRIEND?" Vegeta spat on his hand and tried to rub the six marks off his head.

Goku put his hand behind his head. "I'm sorry Vegeta, but I don't know what else I can do!"

Vegeta started to hyperventilate. He clutched both hands on the side of the chest of drawers until the oak finish split beneath his white knuckles. "I think I'm going faint."

"Don't be silly, Vegeta. It really isn't that serious—oh!" Vegeta collapsed onto the floor in a pathetic puddle of Saiyan.

"Oooh, what do I do now?" Goku flailed his arms around helplessly. He rummaged inside his gi pants until he found his phone. He dialed a number, and screamed into the headset the moment someone picked up on the opposite end.