Everybody Loves Vegeta

Chapter 13

Despite everything being shot to hell, the sun was still shining. Colorful birds perched on the outside balcony, chirping a sprightly song. The sound miles away sparkled in the brilliant daylight. Miles away a tiny freighter chugged through the water. Even the curlicue of smoke rising from it had its charm. Vegeta saw that this small part of his universe was calm. But elsewhere in the world, Bulma was having the worst day of her life.

"We have to go see her," Goku whispered.

Vegeta glanced over at him. He still looked ill, but at least now he was moving his limbs.

"Yes, we should," Vegeta said. They rose from the couch and walked toward the bedroom. Goku's phone buzzed, and he nearly died from fright.

Vegeta grumbled. "Who is it?"

Goku looked at his phone's screen. "It's Marron."

"We don't have time. Let's go now."

A crashing series of knocks rattled the front door. "Yamcha! Yamcha, I know you're in there!"

Goku gasped, and stared at the door. "Is that—?"

"No, it's not Bulma." Vegeta ran to the front door and gazed through the peephole. "What the ever-loving fuck...!"

"Yamcha! YAMCHA! I know what you do over here when you ignore my calls! Open the door right now!"

"Who is it?!" Goku asked in a stage whisper.

"It's the cat. Why the hell is she here?!"

"Yamcha! Yaaamchaaaa!"

The man of the hour stumbled through the bedroom door. "Don't let her in!" Yamcha groaned. He crashed into the door jamb, still hungover from last night. "Whatever you do, don't let her walk through that door!"

"This is bullshit. We're leaving!" Vegeta grabbed Goku's bicep and pulled him into the bedroom.

"Wait, guys! She has a key!" Yamcha yelled.

Midway through pulling his underwear and jeans back on, Vegeta heard the front door lock rattle. Fucking hell! Seconds later the front door flew open and smashed against the wall.

"Yamcha! Where are you!"

Yamcha growled. "Oh, look what the cat dragged in!" He crawled up off the floor, and planted his hands on his hips.

"Oh my God, why are you naked!" Puar screamed. She flew into the hallway where she caught sight of Goku and Vegeta, who were only half-dressed.

"I'm sorry Yamcha, I couldn't stop her!" came a new voice from the living room.

"Who the fuck is that?" Vegeta cried.

Oolong walked into the hallway, bashfully covering his eyes. "I tried to tell her we shouldn't come over here, but she wouldn't listen!"

Puar slapped Yamcha across the face several times with her tiny cat paws. "I can't believe you!"

"Come on babe, it's not what it looks like—"

"Oh my gods, he's fucking the cat!" Vegeta screamed. He pulled his sweater over his head, then bogarted his way out of the room. "Come on, Kakarot!"

"Goku," Puar wailed, flying forward to cling to the bigger Saiyan's chest. "Please don't tell me you had sex with Yamcha! Please!"

"Puar, I'm sorry!" Goku shook his head back and forth. He tried to pry her off his body. "I'm really sorry, but I have to go—"

"Just tell me you didn't do it! Please!"