Falling into Summer

Chapter 15

Carter

When I picked Haley up to go jet skiing yesterday morning, I was caught off guard with how cute she was. She looked like a little country girl in her jean shorts and tank top, with those braided pigtails. It was the first time I'd seen her and didn't think of her as a city girl, and for once I felt like we were on the same plane... like she could fit into my world. Then when we got to the lake and we stripped down to our bathing suits, I had to try my hardest not to stare at her nearly naked body. A week ago, I likely wouldn't have even noticed her this way, but now... after our nights together... I can't help but want to touch every part of her bare skin. I've always thought she was pretty, but now that I've gotten to know her, my attraction to her is based on so much more than her looks. Knowing her inner thoughts and feelings only makes her more beautiful to me. What's more is that she makes it easy for me to be open with her, and for the first time I feel like I can actually be myself around someone. Even crazier is that she gets my humor and laughs at my sarcasm, when most people think I'm a jerk, she thinks I'm funny, and then she spits it right back at me and makes me laugh. That's the other thing... I can't help but laugh when I'm around her, especially when she's laughing. Her laugh is one of the most distinct sounds I've heard. It's so full of life and infectious that every time she laughs, I can't help but laugh with her. In fact, when we were jet skiing, and she wasn't nervous about going fast, I could tell she was having fun because she couldn't stop giggling. Every time I heard her giggle in my ear, I wanted to go faster so it'd continue. She has the cutest giggle, and it just makes me smile.

It was so cute when she jumped in the water without a second thought, only to go right under. It made me laugh that I had to pull her up so she didn't drown. It also gave me a reason to finally put my arms around her. Pleasing me, she stayed in my grip, allowing me to cradle her across my chest. Having her so close in the daylight let my eyes investigate parts of her body I haven't been close enough to see before... her nose, her ear, her neck, her shoulder, her stomach. And when I took her to the private lake, I was eager to touch her again, because I felt like her skin was calling to me.

Talking with her while on the lake, I couldn't hold back my dreams of taking her back home with me one day. I find myself wanting to make memories with her, share experiences with her, witness how she'd take it all in. I'm curious what my dad and cousins would think of her, what she'd think of them. I wonder what she'd think of my life I had there, and the life I could have there if I moved back. Hearing that she could see herself living on a lake only gives me hope that we'd fit in a life together somehow. Then when I saw an opportunity to put my hands on her skin, I couldn't pass it up. I took in every freckle and imperfection on the back of her neck, her shoulders, her back, as my hands guided my eyes to finally investigate more of her body. I couldn't get over how soft her skin was and how easily she relaxed against my touch. Her body language told me she enjoyed my hands on her as much as I enjoyed putting them on her.

Seeing her have so much fun yesterday tells me she likes to have fun, but that it's hard for her not to be the one in control. I wonder if she's ever been able to totally let loose and have a good time; and if so, who was there to take care of her. I can already tell she's not the type to let others be in control. I can spot a control freak a mile away because I am one. I noticed it in the way she makes her bed and sets up her room in the morning. But that's why I like spending time with her. She's like me in so many ways, that she unknowingly calms me down in a way no one else can. I love that we can be so relaxed with each other no matter what we're doing. While watching the race yesterday afternoon for example, she seemed genuinely interested as she asked me questions and I continued to educate her on the sport. It was really cute, the way she's trying to like the things I like.

After spending this last week and weekend with Haley, I'm dreading Leah's visit this weekend, and I was dreading having to tell Haley about it. But Haley didn't get mad or tell me to leave, she just cuddled closer to me, which is exactly what I didn't know I wanted. I know we've been spoiled this week, spending so much time together, but knowing that that's all coming to end makes me want her as close as possible. That's why when we went to bed Sunday night, I had to have her next to me... I know there's going to be nights we can't be together, and I don't want to waste one where we are together, sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. I want her as close to me as she'll let herself be. When I wake up in the middle of the night, she's the first thing I look for, and if she's too far away, I want her closer. I can't explain this magnetic pull I have towards her, but it's too strong to fight at this point. I find myself desperately wanting to feel her against me, to know she's right beside me. It's almost like she provides some sense of security, even though I'm the one who's supposed to protect her. I just don't know how I became so vulnerable with her... Everything is just getting so confusing.