Falling into Summer

Chapter 21

Carter

After Haley leaves, I spend the rest of the day trying to catch up on sleep while tossing and turning with built up sexual desires, and completely distracted with thoughts and memories from our most passionate night together yet.

Finally, being able to investigate her body with my hands and lips was more satisfying to me than I could have ever imagined. What I wasn't expecting was how good her skin would taste, and how it only made me hungrier for her lips. With every touch my lips made to her skin, she squirmed under me, and it pleased me to know that she was enjoying my touches as much as I was. Then she surprised me when she took over, and my desire for her nearly engulfed me with every touch her fingers and lips made across my body. My powerful reaction to her surprised even myself, as I didn't even realize how badly I wanted her hands on me that way. Until this morning, I'd only been keenly aware of my desire to explore her, but as she took her time exploring me, it drove me crazy, and I couldn't get enough of her. After convincing her to stay in bed with me longer, it was like because we knew our time was limited, we became desperate as we grabbed and pulled at each other... it was sexy as hell.

A week ago, I wished for these memories, never expecting them to happen, but now that they have, they've completely turned me around. Being with Haley is becoming a necessity to me. When she's not around, I feel like something is missing, like she's a light in my world I didn't know I was missing. She knows me in ways no one else knows me, and makes me feel worthy and deserving of her, even though I know I'm not. When I'm with her, I want to cherish her and show her how important she is to me, how she's changing me... She's everything I didn't know I wanted... She's sweet, funny, honest, smart, and has no clue how sexy she really is... But more importantly is how she makes me feel. Haley makes me feel whole, when I didn't even know a piece of me was missing. She gives me hope for the future, and an excitement for life I've never had... And when she looks at me, she makes me feel like the most amazing person, like she could love me, and wouldn't want to be with anyone else... I've never had anyone look at me the way she does... She makes me feel like I'm better than I am, but it makes me want to be the best version of myself, someone worthy of her, even though she already thinks I am... and that's why I could fall in love with Haley... I could love her for what she brings out in me, and who she makes me want to be... but I will fall in love with her for how she can touch my soul with her honesty, and for who I am when I'm with her... I'm better with her than without her, and I know that now.

Despite my growing feelings and desires towards Haley, I just couldn't surrender fully to my will and kiss her the way I've wanted to kiss her for weeks. I know it's not right, but Haley is making me feel things I didn't know I could feel, and I just don't feel like fighting whether being with her is right anymore.

"How are you feeling?" my mother pokes her head into my room to ask, and I'm surprised to see it's already after five o'clock, as I've seemingly spent the whole day thinking about Haley.

"Um, better... just tired and still a little bit of a sore throat," I respond. I'm probably totally fine going to work considering I'm not constantly blowing my nose or coughing, but truth is there's no way I could concentrate if I were at work, and being home has allowed me to make up some sleep.

"Are you still planning on going?" she asks, referring to my original plan to leave after work Friday.

"I don't know yet," I respond, contemplating my options to spend more time with Haley. My mother must have caught my hesitation, because she comes in and sits next to me on the bed, where Haley usually lays.

"Are you having second thoughts about going?" she asks, and I can tell she wants to know where my heads at, but doesn't want to pry. When I nod in agreement, she continues, "I noticed Haley's been coming over a lot lately, and pretty late...What does she think about you going?"