Falling into Summer

Chapter 11

Carter

"I'll call you tonight," Leah says as we hug, and she kisses me before grabbing her bag off the sidewalk.

"Ok, have a safe flight," I say, and she turns to walk towards the building. I get back in my car to head to work.

This weekend with Leah was... different. At first I wasn't looking forward to her coming after spending so much time with Haley, and even though we talked about going to the movies after she arrived, I didn't really feel like it. Truth is I was still feeling tired from the last couple of late nights with Haley, so I convinced her to just hang out at the house. But after a couple of hours, she made a snide comment about how I was tired because I'd been out late with Haley, and when I didn't respond, she pounced. She instantly started interrogating me for more details about what all we'd done and if we'd slept together, and that was all I could take. I fought back defensively, which only made her madder, and within four hours after her arrival we weren't talking.

When I got up the next morning to go to work, she'd tried to convince me to stay home. She complained about having travelled all this way so we could spend time together, and I wasn't even making an effort. I tried to explain that I'm still trying to prove myself dependable at work, and I need to work if I'm going to be looking at taking time off to go up there for my birthday next month, which was only half the truth. I knew I would be able to email Haley from work, so there was nothing Leah could say that was going to change my mind. At that point, I'd had enough of the bickering between us, and I was starting to miss Haley.

Chatting with Haley back and forth was a nice pick me up that I needed after a rocky start to Leah's visit. It's not like we talked a lot, but just knowing that I could reach her and that she wasn't ignoring me after she learned of Leah, I felt like was a good sign. I can't deny it put me in a pretty good mood. But my mood was brought down when I got home and had to deal with Leah again. She complained about being trapped in the house all day and being bored. I'd hate to admit it, but by then I wished she was leaving Saturday instead of Tuesday. We ended up going out to eat and to a movie, and by the time we got home I was exhausted, which was a good thing because I was asleep by the time she came to bed. I knew telling her I was tired for a second night was only going to make matters worse.

On Saturday Leah got us tickets to the NASCAR race, so we headed to Daytona early so we could check out the beach. That was a big mistake. Being at the beach only made me think of Haley, and she was on my mind the rest of the day. I couldn't stop remembering how I told Haley about the races and my wish to be an owner. It was the hardest thing, being there with Leah, and wishing she was Haley. I mean, last week I was looking forward to Leah being here, and all our plans... and then when Leah got here, I couldn't wait for her to leave. Honestly though, that's the nature of our relationship. Things are so on and off between us that I can hardly keep up. One minute we're together, the next we're breaking up, either way it seems we're always fighting. I remember when I told her I was moving, she threatened to break up with me, and a part of me welcomed the opportunity to be free of the fighting and constant maintenance our relationship requires. But after two weeks of being here, we were talking again. That's the thing with us, I can never tell if we love or hate each other, if you can even call it love. It gets so exhausting trying to keep up with her moods and my moods that I can't help but wonder if we're just not right for each other. What used to work when we were teenagers, just isn't working anymore.

By the time we got home after the race it was the early morning hours, and because we went straight to bed, I was able to avoid another night of intimacy. But when we woke Sunday afternoon, and she wanted to stay in bed late, I knew I wasn't going to be able to avoid the inevitable. I'm not proud of my behavior, but I'm just so confused. I've never been this conflicted before. Leah and I have history that I just can't turn away from easily, not to mention she's not someone that takes being walked away from well. I just can't do anything that's going to cause more drama when I don't know where things are going with Haley. I did notice that Leah was more worried about how she looked this trip, which I thought was odd, but I guess knowing about Haley made her feel insecure, which I guess is only natural.