Sons of Anarchy Imagines

Tig Trager

Tig's POV:

It had been four months and I've been nothing but sober. I've been nothing but depressed because of a stupid fucking mistake I made those four months ago that costed me my whole world. I was driving to the place I've spent every single Saturday and Sunday at. Once I pulled into a parking spot and had the car in park and shut off, I made my way to the spot I was looking for. 

Flashback to that night~

"What the fuck Tig?! Why?!.." She screamed out at me with tears falling down her face. 

I had nothing to say because I knew I fucked up our entire 3 year relationship over some croweater's pussy. 

"Baby...I fucked up..." I cried out to Y/N.

"You did more than fuck up Trager. You shattered my heart and this relationship! Was I not good enough for you?! You should've told me what I was doing wrong instead of fucking some whore to get back at me!!" She screamed back at me and my heart broke like fragile glass at her facial expression. 

"You were perfect for me and I promise you that you were doing everything right. This was all my fault." I sobbed out harder. 

The amount alcohol we had both consumed was starting to show. The whole club stopped the music and drinking to watch our little show. 

"Fuck you Alexander Trager. I hope her pussy was more filling than mine and I hope she was worth it for you to throw everything we built together away. I did nothing but love you. I now wonder if you ever loved me." She said loud enough for everyone else to hear. 

"I love you.." I told her as she began walking away from me and outside.

I could only watch her as she turned around for the last time and said, "I'm sorry if I wasn't what you were looking for. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough." After she finished her sentence she left and bolted to her car, starting it up, and drove up to the main road. The whole club and I had been outside watching her as she pulled out as a horn honked loudly at her before a semi slammed full force into her side of the car. 

"NO!!!!!!" I screamed along with the club in complete horror. 

Everyone started running towards her car, which was completely totaled. I ran up to her door and managed to get it open. 

"No, no, no...Baby, baby, wake up!! I love you! Please wake up!" I cried out to her as I kept gently shaking her. She never woke up. 

"Tig, let Clay see." Gemma spoke to me as she gently pulled me into her arms. 

Clay put two fingers on Y/N's neck only to pull back and face everyone. "She's gone..." Clay spoke with tears in his eyes. Everyone broke out into tears and I couldn't help but fall to my knees, Gemma sitting down with me. 

"It's all my fault...I should've stopped her from leaving because she was drunk. I should've never of slept with that croweater. I fucked up Gemma and I can't fix this...She's gone forever, "I cried harder into Gemma's chest, "I can't tell her I love her again or try to fix this. We ended this badly.."

End of Flashback

"I miss you so fucking much babygirl. I should've never of let you leave that night. Even if you were extremely pissed at me, I should've kept you there even if I had to sleep outside in the hall so you could've had my bed. I fucked up terribly because I drank too much that night and fucked that croweater. I was deeply in love with you and I've never been like that before. You didn't do anything wrong. You were perfect for me and I am so sorry that you felt like you weren't. God, I miss you so much. I miss you, your touch, your affection, your hugs, kisses, smile, laugh, everything about you. I miss waking up next to you every day. I've been sober for four months now. I haven't slept with anyone either. I have had the club helping me stay sober and keep me out of trouble. I have had one new friend helping me out because she seems to understand me. Her name is Venus. You would've liked her. I'm glad she is who she is because I really need comfort and advice like what she gives me. I miss you so much and it hurts deep in my chest." I spoke to her gravestone as I placed the mixed bouquet of flowers in front of it. 

"I thought I might find you here." I heard Venus' voice call out. 

I turned my head to look at her as she sat down next to me, leaning forward to place her own little bouquet of flowers on Y/N's grave. 

"I miss her so much Venus and it hurts so bad. I don't know how I'm going to keep going on without her!" I yelled. 

Venus' arms pulled me into a hug as I continued sobbing. "She would want you to keep going forward. You have me and the club to help you. She loved you and I bet you anything right now that she's watching over you and everyone else. From everything you've told me, she wouldn't let you go easily even in death. I bet she's why you've been saved on the runs you've been going on when you almost died or got taken hostage. Sweetie, it's going to take time, maybe even years before you start to move on. We never really get over ones we've lost, but we learn how to move on and learn how to live without them. It won't be easy but like I've said, you have me and the club to support you." Venus spoke with her usual passionate self. 

I slightly chuckled. 

"What?"

"Y/N would've definitely loved you. She didn't have any friends other than Gemma and Lyla." I gave a small smile to her. 

I turned to Y/N's grave again. "I love and miss you babygirl. I'm sorry that I never got to make everything up to you or tell you everything that I should've. You were perfect for me and you did everything right. Please watch over me, the club, and Venus here, because we are going to need your protection and guidance all throughout life. Save us all a spot up there. I'll be back next weekend for my normal Saturday and after Sunday church routine. I love you." I whispered as tears kept falling down my face. 

Venus helped me stand. I went still as I felt a cold breeze touch my cheek, and judging by Venus' face, she felt a cold breeze on her cheek as well. A voice whispered out, "I will always love and protect you all. Take care of him Venus. You two would make a perfect couple in the future. I'm always with you Tiggy." It was Y/N's voice...she heard me and Venus. 

"She heard us Alexander. She obviously forgives you and knows you didn't mean to do what you did." 

"She always forgave me, even if it took a month to do. She never gave up on me and was willing to try to talk through our problems." I smiled at the memories of all the times we talked our problems out after we took time to cool off and sort our thoughts and feelings out. 

I felt Venus grab my hand and give it a comforting squeeze before we walked back towards my car. I'm guessing she got a lift from someone else since it was just my car here. Our hands remained entwined as a form of support and I couldn't be more grateful, because it felt like Y/N helped get us to get closer so I could get through this. 

"Thank you Venus. I appreciate you and everything you've been doing for me." 

"I don't want you going through this alone, baby. You need all the support, advice, and comfort you can get. Y/N made sure you wouldn't be going through this alone." 

"She always looked out for me and I know for a fact she won't ever stop. I feel bad for the big guy up there. She's probably requesting a lot for me." I laughed a little and Venus did the same. 

I felt a gentle caress on my cheek then it disappeared.

 "She finally got to say Goodbye to me." I whispered as tears ran down my cheeks.

I'm glad I know that I will be able to brave this storm no matter what. I had a lot of support and I would be forever grateful for it all.