The Duchess of York (Colin Bridgerton)

19) The Night Before The Wedding

The Duchess' POV 

After taking the up most refreshing breath I made my way back into my pale lilac drawing room. The oak furniture held Lady Danbury, Viscountess Bridgerton, Lady Eloise Bridgerton and of course the Duchess of Hastings had been accompanying me at my London estate for a luncheon. I glanced between Daphne and the Viscountess, who would soon be my family as soon as this time tomorrow. Tomorrow I will lose my Rothwingham line and I will become Annabelle Bridgerton the Duchess of York. 

A new chapter for both Colin and I. With out titles we will spend our days carried out at my York estate, soon to be our York estate. Colin would be expected to take on almost all of my duties whilst I bare children and become the best Mama and wife I can be. I hope nothing becomes to overwhelming for him. I remember the moment my Father died and how much pressure was instantly put upon my shoulders. I know he will miss his family and friends. I know he will miss that shirt red headed girl, who I can't remember her name. I just want to ensure he knows that he is not alone in this. For I will be right beside him always. 

Allowing my thoughts to wander back to wander back to the conversation, the luncheon was going well. Violet and Daphne were chatting about what married life is like. Attempting to give me some advice for the occasion. Lady Danbury started by explaining that marriage does offer more than just regret, despite what some may believe. 

"Patience truly is key Annabelle, over time you will very much find yourself agitated at the smaller things in life, such as his breathing." Violet spoke. 

Daphne followed with a giggle. 

"You are right their Mama. Simon and I find that keeping our business life separate to our family life is very much crucial to carry out the fundamentals of our relationship. It keeps the passion alive." Daphne spoke with a small smile on her lips at the mention of her husband. 

Eloise's not so innocent ears perked up as she began to ass her point to conversation. 

"Although, yes I am not married. I am still to believe that Annabelle very much so has control over all. When she feels vulnerable or powerless that is when one such as a woman is most powerful. Your voice will be heard. Mark my words, a woman's voice will one day matter to the public." Eloise's youthful words reminded me of innocence and hope.

Her words inspired me, she will make it far in her time.

"Don't be so ridiculous Eloise, I thought you were to be the smart one. You honestly believe a woman would have such liberty? Marriage comes with such responsibility. A woman is seen nothing more than to bare children and to become a wife with honor. That will be your most important roll Annabelle." Lady Danbury spat. 

I believe someone has barked up the wrong tree. It seems it is my turn to interject. 

"Well I think you all have some interesting points. All of which I will take through on my journey as a married woman." Short but sweet, the pressure was beginning. 

I am not oblivious to what will happen on my wedding night. The marital act that must be performed to consummate the union between a newly wed couple. Nerves filled my lower stomach at the thought of Colin's intimate touch. The exposure that would be advanced between us. The disbelief that I will have my virtue. It made me insecure for I will be ruined... but in a good way I guess. I feel inferior to the fact I am inexperienced although I am supposed to be. Yet the extremely little experience I have is the unfortunate event with Lord Westington. 

To share a bed with the same man - Colin. Brings me such comfort. Because Colin gives me peace, he reminds me of home. I love him and I am privileged to be able to marry for the very fact that I do love him. I am told me fears will soon come to an end and I will be be restored with confidence and certainty.

Colin is a man of honor and I know he could never leave me. He will always be there for me. 

Again I tried to ignore my obvious feelings. Engaging myself back into conversation with my guests. 

"Annabelle, everything will be fine. You and my brother are wonderful for each other. Once you are wed and you have our honey moon, that is when you will really come to learn about him, understand him and fall deeply in love with him." Daphne spoke before placing her empty tea cup on the side table. 

"Well I must be off, Simon will be awaiting a very much needed break from out little one. I'm sure Grandma Violet would love to accompany me?" Daphne asked Violet. 

The two left. 

"How are you really feeling child?" Lady Danbury wasn't wasting any time. 

"In truth. I wish my Mama was here. I wish she could help me prepare for married life. To help show me that the actions I am taking are right. I also wish Papa was here to walk me down the aisle." I gulped feeling a familiar lump form in my throat. 

"Your Mother was just as anxious as you. I don't know if you knew, but your Mother and I grew a great friendship. We had such a tight bond, we spoke freely about everything. She felt the exact way as you do know, riddled with nerves and doubts. The only time she felt those feelings slip away was when she stood at the alter and had a ring placed upon her finger. Everything you are going through is normal. But remember to be hopeful. Your love will be true and honest. Your Mother was fond of Violet. She would have approved of Colin. As would your Father. He will be watching along with your Mother tomorrow, from wherever they are." A few tears escaped my eyes as I thought about the honesty that had just been unveiled before me. 

~~~~

Dinner was prepared in the kitchen of my London estate. The night before the wedding it was tradition to spend it with the wedding party. My house was to be full of Bridgertons, Bassets and Lady Danbury of course. 

Our final night unmarried and free would be spent with the people I love. People we both loves, Colin and I. 

Anna was currently dressing me for the night. 

"Is Lilly coming tomorrow? I sent my request for her over a week ago now and still have had no response." I contemplated between dresses as I asked Anna a question. 

"My lady, I was unaware that she still worked for you." She spoke, hesitant. 

"I do beg your pardon?" I stopped looking at the dresses and my eyes diverted towards her. 

"I was warned not to tell you, Miss Michaelson will disapprove, she wanted to speak to you when you are home." She gulped trying to place more make-up on my face.

I took her hands from my face and demanded further information. 

"She was working with Lord Westington. Lilly was the one who allowed him to enter the estate that night, she also allowed him into your bedroom. She also left the note on your side board. She claims she was threatened. But please that is all I know can we just pretend I never mentioned a word." Anna seemed desperate so I allowed her to brush our conversation under the carpet. 

Anna continued to prepare me in silence. 

I will resume this investigation once I am married. 

All twelve of us sat in comfort at my lavish dining table, tall white candles burning through the center of the chestnut colored wood. The atmosphere was somewhat majestic and the mood was merry. At the bottom end of the table Gregory and Hyacinth irritable and could be heard over our adult conversations. Throwing bits of bread at one another. 

Anthony scolded the children as Benedict merely chuckled at their innocence. 

"Children, please. We are guests here." Violet gritted her teeth at the pair, clearly embarrassed by the behavior the two were displaying. 

"You will do well to remember you manners." Anthony spoke as he took his glass in his hand, sipping of the red wine. 

"I would like to be the first to make a toast. Please lets raise a glass. To ensure that love will always be the priority for our marriages. Here is to marrying for love. I love you Annabelle." Colin spoke, stood with a glass of champagne at hand.

A smile twisted to my lips. 

"I love you Colin." 

"Well said brother. Here's to the happy couple." Anthony rose his glass.