The Duchess of York (Colin Bridgerton)

30} Willow

Annabelle

I couldn't distract myself. How? Why? Who could possibly know? I hadn't told anyone who wasn't in my circle of trust, let alone even speak to anyone.

Colin had left an hour ago to go and attempt damage control with his brothers. Yet I couldn't bring myself to go with him. I am sick of being the victim, a pawn in someone else's game. How am I the one who's reputation has been tarnished again? A married woman never the less.

Was this really a world I wanted to bring a baby into? My mind spiralled. I pray to God that I am so fortunate to birth a boy. For I cannot bring a baby girl into a world so cruel and treacherous. Standing beside the bed I began to pace back and forth. Floor boards creaking as turn on my heal room continue the cycle.

I halt by the window. Looking down at the street. Noticing faces of the ton, each member glancing at the house before continuing about their day.

I was now the laughing stock of London. The Duchess Whore. I needed to get out. I needed fresh air. A ride perhaps to clear my head, time to ponder a plan.

I spoke to Anna to arrange to bring my horse Prancer round.

----

"Are you sure this is wise ma'am? In your condition I couldn't think of much worse than a bumpy ride." Anna spoke to me as though I was stupid. An imbecile.

"Please Anna, I am pregnant. Not crippled" I spat back. A fowl mood I was in, fully aware of how unnecessary my choice of words were. I wouldn't take them back, I couldn't.

I shook the thought from my mind and began walking down the stair case and toward the front door. Ignoring the quiet calls from Violet. I didn't want to see her face. Not yet. The sympathy would be too much.

"Ma'am, the Duke will not be happy with you going alone." Anna spoke quietly as she watched me mount my beauty.

"Thank you for your input but I must remind you that I am the woman of the house. You follow my instructions. Not the Duke's. Besides I am well and truly the most undesirable woman in the entire of the Untied Kingdom as of today. So you really have rather little to worry about. Rest assured I shan't be long." I spoke as I pulled the reigns on Prancer to begin our walk.

I was upset. Not only because everyone now knows what I was trying so hard to keep to myself. But I was upset because I don't know who the bitch or bastard is. Lady Danbury had always crossed my mind but I believe she would just tell everyone what she thought of them to their face.

I am the Duchess of York and a bloody good one at that. I will be dammed if this is the reason my 'reign' falls. I'm an outstanding wife - or so I think. And I will be the best mother I can be. I won't let this set me back.

----

I must have been riding maybe half an hour when I came to a stop.

An open field with a few willow trees. I smiled as I pushed forward onto the grass. When I was a child my father would spend a great deal of time in London. Attending what I thought back then to be boring meetings... So he would ask my child minders to bring me to this field which I had named Willow Farm. I would ride my ponies in and out the trees, spend hours making up games with my pretend friends. Unless Simon was available, which was always rare as Lady Danbury barely let him out her sight when he was home. We would ruin all our best clothes running through the grass, butter cups and daisies. They were some of my best memories as a child. Such fun. We had made such a great bond. I must remember to make a meeting with him soon. I hadn't seen him or Daphne for that matter in far too long.

Just to think I thought I had it tough back then, my word. If only I had known what the future would hold. I half chuckled at the thought of a young version of me speaking to me now.

Realising I sound insane I paused under the willow tree. I had desired to sit amongst the grass and flowers but I fear I won't be able to mount Prancer again. Deciding to stay mounted I let go of the reigns allowing them to sit upon my saddle. Toying with the vines which fell at perfect length from the tree. I thought about my next moves.

Maybe I could write a statement. Or maybe I could ask Colin to write a statement on our behalf. It may look better coming from him. Oh I don't know. Maybe it would be best to say nothing at all.

Noticing the grey clouds slowly taking over what was once a blue sky. I decided I ought to make a start on my journey home. Knowing full well that a plan would soon be in play, I counted to ten before regaining control of the reigns. I had been gone at least three maybe four hours. Colin would be going out his mind if he was home.

I ought to be lucky if my husband hasn't sent out a search party. Oh how I couldn't wait to just be in his arms once more.

---

As I made my way down the road which placed the Bridgerton house, I noticed Colin stood on the front step with the Visocunt. Harbolt (the doors man) holding an umbrella above them both. Immediately once noticing my presence Colin rushed over to the pavement and helped me down from Prancer.

"Annabelle. What an earth where you thinking? I was about to send every nobleman in Mayfair out to search for you." The anger so thick in his voice.

"My brother is right. Not only is it unwise to ride in your condition. But alone and in the rain. Please tell us you at least had a good reason." Anthony piped up.

"In all due to respect. Viscount I believe this is between my husband and I. And you should know better than to tell a Duchess what she can and cannot do. I will apologise that I have been gone for far longer than anticipated. But I needed simply to breathe. I am well aware of the complications that riding may cause on a pregnant lady, however must I remind you that I am still so early in the process. That I am just fine as I am for the time being." I stared at the pair. "Now if you don't mind I am going for a hot bath and will see you for dinner this evening. For I intend on having a nap after."

My husbands eyes portrayed something I had never truly seen in Colin. He looked almost stunned by my words.

I climbed the stairs with my head. Held high and called Anne for a bath.

"I shall place a pillow for your head, your Grace."

I simply smiled before indulging in the warmth.