The Duchess of York (Colin Bridgerton)

27) Preperation

Duchess' POV

Two weeks later

Bed rest was enough to send me well and truly insane. Colin made it so that I needn't get up for anything other than to bathe or use the chamber pots. Most ladies would be more than grateful for this behaviour. But I find it hard to let him run our city... let alone run me. In a way. I guess that makes sense.

One thing I had been grateful for was the rest, morning sickness really is no joking matter. I had read all about it but my word, it really does just drain one of all energy. I knew it wouldn't be long before everyone would find out I was pregnant. Particularly if Whistledown was to get his or her hands on this information. However, I enjoyed the secrecy for now, it was just Colin and I who had this knowledge. And that to me. Made it even more special.

My lady's maid prepared me for the day, corset, dress, hair and some creams to cover any left over marks on my face.

"Remember, do take it easy your Grace."

I smiled.

"Would you expect anything less" I spoke as I made my way out of my room.

My how it felt amazing to see the outside of those four walls. The bright white clean hall, filled with Bridgerton paintings, white skirting boards and the pristine chandelier just above the dual stairwell. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in days. As I began to descend the staircase that's when I saw him.

Stood tall amongst his brothers. His chestnut hair so perfectly styled, his blue blazer, paired together with his cream waistcoat. Colin. He looked more handsome than usual. I don't know if it's the pregnancy speaking or just me. But I wanted him.

Stepping of the bottom step, Colin turned to me. Immediately snaking his arm around my waist.

"How lovely to see you, your Grace." Benedict came forward with as light nod.

"As it is you." I simply smiled back at him.

"I do hope you have recovered from this mysterious illness that has had you couped up in your quarters." Benedict carried on. But before getting chance Anthony interjected. "I believe we have much to do if this ball is to be ready for tomorrow night. May I borrow you both?" Anthony gestured towards Colin and I. Who obviously obliged.

We followed him to the ball room. Which was so full of beautiful shades of blue, white and purple. A truly beautiful Bridgerton ball.

"So, firstly. Congratulations to you both. I couldn't be happier for the pair of you. You will both make great parents. I quite fancy myself to be favourite uncle. Of course." He paused with a grin on his face. "So the ball will be tomorrow night. If you feel you're up to it your Grace?" He smiled with sympathy.

"Of course. There is nothing truly quite like a Bridgerton ball after all." I smiled back.

"Brilliant. So am I right in saying that you are going to announce your news then?" Anthony questioned. "Yes brother, we are. We are very much looking forward to sharing the news before Lady Whistledown does." Colin slightly sighed.

The thought of her getting the upper hand and chance to tell everyone before ourselves. That would be awful. But I must admit I feel some sort of shame with people knowing I'm pregnant. Although it is expected that a married man and woman would obviously do such deeds in the marital bed. I suppose now everyone would know I was used. Which seems to me to be somewhat embarrassing. Not of Colin or myself but just that I had done such. Such. Well. Deeds.

"Of course. Well if that is-."

"Might I just interject." I interrupted. "Being in bed these past weeks has given me a lot or time to ponder and breathe. I was thinking perhaps of instead residing in York, which is so far away from family. That perhaps we might buy a larger property here in London. Whether that be Mayfair or Bloomsbury. It might be nice to feel not so alone out there, not just for myself but for you too Colin. Especially once the baby comes along. It might be nice to have him or her grow up with family around them. We would of course have to still visit York monthly. As it is of course our city and our duty. I just can't help but think about everything that happened. I don't think I could face going back there so soon." My thoughts had been spontaneously broadcasted between the two brothers. Maybe I ought to have thought about my decision for a longer time.

Though I spoke in truth. The thought of going back to York castle made me feel in debt to my anxiety. I wasn't ready. Not yet.

"I believe that to be a splendid idea my love. We can take as much time as you need. I will see to it and find property. Somewhere for our family to grow." Colin grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed it with little force. So reassuring,

"I believe Mother will be overjoyed with this decision." Anthony joined in with his encouragement.

After a few more words where exchanged Colin led his wife out of the Bridgerton house hold and out to promenade.

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"Colin is something the matter, you've barely said a word since leaving for a walk?" Concern clear through my eyes.

"No. I'm just simply thinking about how we are soon to become parents. Am still in quite disbelief." He stopped walking for a moment. "If we are to have a daughter. I hope you know I will do everything in my power to prevent any traces of evil and dishonour. Such as what you have had to endure. I may have failed you but I will not make this mistake again." He spoke quietly, incase members of the ton overheard.

"Please don't be so hard on yourself. You really mustn't. We need to move on from this and find peace within ourselves. Colin I need you." The last sentence was meant in more ways than one.

I need Colin.
Constantly.
Emotionally.
Honourably.
But above all I needed him physically.

Our eyes met, when he saw the passion that was evident in mine I swear I saw his lips part in shock.

"But is it not too soon?"

I shook my head simply taking his hand and marching us both back toward the Bridgerton house.

So caught up in my lust. What I hadn't seen was a Lady Whistledown lurking in the shadows.