Stevie hadn't slept well, which alone she knew was a bad sign for her conversation with Lindsey. She had laid awake half the night still wondering about what he might want to talk about. And as she was on her way to him, she thought that he should have given her a hint. He should have just told her what he wanted to talk about. But no, of course he hadn't.
Things had been frustrating. Stevie knew that most of it was her own fault, keeping him at distance and ignoring him as much as she could. But she just didn't want to have another encounter like three weeks ago. She wanted to have fun on this tour, not having a certain someone ruin it.
As she made her way up to the floor the band occupied, Stevie was glad that she was the only one who regularly didn't stay in the same hotel. Trying to get to Lindsey's room already felt like she was doing something she shouldn't be seen doing. She tried not to think about what it might feel like if she was sneaking around, trying to not be seen.
The nervous feeling she had intensified as she knocked on the door and waited until he opened it.
"Hey."
He greeted her. And only because she knew this man for ages, she knew that all of the animosity seemed gone at that moment. He seemed just as nervous as she was.
"Hi."
"You're here early."
"Am I really here for small talk?"
"No." Lindsey opened the door for her.
"That's what I thought." She stepped in and followed him to the living room area. "Why am I here?"
"I..."
"Lindsey, we know each other for nearly fifty years now. And we went through more different kind of talks than most people." Stevie hadn't known that she would be the one who would begin talking. She had thought that she would come here, listen to what he had to say and try to remain calm. "I think whatever it is, it can't be worse than the talk we had back in 97, or...?"
She had to ask. Had to know that whatever it was that he had to tell her was just about to shatter her heart completely once more. She didn't think she was able to get through that kind of heartbreak again.
"No. At least I hope it's not." He shook his head.
"Then tell me."
She sat down in a chair, just in case. With Lindsey and her there was never a chance to know how this conversation would go. It could be everything, from screaming at each other, to once more cross that line that now wasn't exactly there anymore, and land in bed. Though if she had to be completely honest, the last week had taken a little troll on her.
"Talking about 97..." He began.
Stevie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was not the best way to start a conversation with her. Not after she had been so close to have everything only to lose it again after Kristen had uttered only two words.
"Again?"
"What?" Lindsey asked, confused for a short moment. "No."
"Just making sure." She held her hands up, but actually she was somewhat relieved not needing to hear that again.
"It's got nothing to do with Kristen."
"Okay. But I still have no idea why I'm here."
She watched him. He was nervous, obviously lost for words. And she knew the way he was avoiding to look at her only too well. Stevie was right, they had been through a lot of different talks about them, and their relationship, already. It didn't help that they knew each other better than they knew themselves at times. She knew what he was trying to talk about with her.
"I don't think it's a good idea." She said, deciding to get him out of his misery. "Not yet."
"What are you talking about?"
Stevie sighed as he got defensive.
"Us. What I'm obviously here to talk about, only that you don't. Lindsey, you asked me to come here, to talk, made a huge secret out of it about what we might talk about, and now you're trying to avoid looking at me? I know you. And I know what you want. But I don't think it's something we should do now."
She tried to keep calm, knowing that if she showed any sign of being angry, or irritated they would be screaming at each other in no time. It was why she came to sit next to him, reaching for his hands and kept her voice soft.
"We're in the middle of a tour, you and Kristen just called it quits, and everything is crazy right now. I know what you want... and Lindsey, I'd be lying if I said I don't love you anymore. Cause I do. But still, we shouldn't do this right now."
"Cause you're too busy otherwise?"
Another deep breath, and mentally counting to ten later, she told herself that he was just hurt. That he wasn't trying to make her flip right now. And that it was just his hurting ego that had made him open his mouth before he had a chance to think about what it was he was saying.
"I pretend you didn't say that."
"I'm sorry."
It was a genuinely apology, still she wouldn't take this anymore.
"I already told you this the last time, and I'll tell you again. I won't take this possessive jealously anymore. When we give this another try, I'm in, 100 percent. And you will have to trust me. If you don't, or continue with this shit, I'm gone. Or maybe I will be turning tables? You know I can throw a tantrum every time I think you interact a little too much with these girls in the front row. When I think they flirt with you, though I should know that you're with me and won't act out on it. You want that?"
Lindsey looked at her, not really sure if she was serious about this or not. But there was a look of finality in her eyes, letting him know that she was indeed meaning every word she had said. Still he asked. "You really mean this?"
"You should know me as good as that you know I am serious." But still she offered him a smile. "Now as to why I'm busy as you put it so nicely. I'm not in a relationship, so far. While I think all the times we hooked up while you had been married..."
"I get it."
"I hope."
"So, you and I, we try again?"
"You plan to behave?"
"Steph, I might have been stupid enough to let you go twice, but I'm not that stupid."
It made them both laugh. But she knew that he was still nervous about what she would answer.
"We'll try, but not yet." She watched as his face lit up only that he began to frown at her a second later. "You just ended a nearly two decade long relationship. And I haven't had anything serious going on for just as long. I don't know about you, but I need some time." Despite what she had told him, she leaned in close, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "But I promise you one thing already. No more shacking up, I'm yours."
Well, what do you think? I'd love to know. Have a nice day, and thanks for reading. Love, Dani
