Apricity || P.SH.

chapter five

Shiwoos PoV

My alarm went off annoyingly early, as I had decided to spend my day off with training. Maybe not one of my best ideas, but I did what I had to do to keep up with my members. I quickly turned the alarm off in order to not wake up Hungcha unnecessarily. Still half asleep I stood up from my bed and took everything I needed out of the room and went to get ready in the bathroom.

It was in fact so early that everybody else was still sleeping, when I left the apartment to catch my bus. I wore a big Hoodie having the hood pulled over my head and a mask on, so I wouldn't get recognized.

My bag was thrown lazily over my shoulder as I put in headphones to drown out every other noise. From day to day it was getting colder and colder and I could feel the freezing air creeping up my clothes, as I shivered.

To my luck the bus came quickly, it's warmth surrounding me. At this hour it was fairly empty and I decided to take a seat up in the front. Through the whole ride I looked out of the window, while my music was playing.

I thought about all the things that had happened the last few months and I was proud again to be able to call myself an Idol. Still surreal. And now I was chosen to be a MC. It felt like I was jumping from one adventure to the next.

The announced meeting with Sunghoon was scheduled for tomorrow four p.m. Thinking about it, made me nervous again, so i decided to not debate on that now. My gaze dragged upon the barely lighted streets. The world still layed in the gentle darkness of the ending night.

A few minutes later, I left my bus with a tired sigh and headed to the entrance of the building. Although I was only exposed to the cold for a short moment, I sighed contenly when I entered into the warmth of the building.

I had quite a hate-love relationship towards autumn and winter. On one side I loved both seasons. I loved cuddling up with a blanket and a book or going out to dance in the rain. I loved snow and Christmas. On the other hand I was scared. The time from October to February was always one of uncertainty.

I shivered at my thoughts and shook my head in annoyance. As I took the elevator down to the studios I focused fully on my music in order to not get caught up in thoughts again. It was all silent, It could have been creepy, if i wouldn't have know how secure this whole place was.

I threw my bag onto the ground in the studio I entered and connected my phone to the system. Immediately the music started playin through the speakers and I decided to just directly start off.

Let's just dance my thoughts away.

. . .

I watched myself in the mirror dancing to the music. Every step I took, was criticized by me. I inspected how my body looked, as I moved to the beat.

You're not good enough.

With pressed together lips I continued dancing.

Watch yourself looking all ridiculous. You dont even look like an Idol.

I let out a huff and focused on the music that was playing.

You'll never make it to be good enough.

The song ended and I turned the music off completely, before I slumped my body onto the floor as sweat dripped down my face. Every single one of my muscles and limbs was hurting like a truck just slammed me into a brick wall. My heart was beating out of exhaustion, while I took unsteady breaths.

For a few minutes I just layed there and stared at the ceiling while calming myself down. When I decided to stand up, I grabbed my phone only to realize I had it on 'dont disturb' for the whole time.