Golden sunshine dripping from all edges,
Bare feet on concrete,
Cold hands on warm skin,
Chasing chasing chasing,
Fun and games until it's not,
A voice so lovely it could break my heart.
"You are a lot."
The laughter dies in my throat,
"Too much" rings in my ears,
Not spoken but heard loud and clear,
My smile feels like nails as I pretend I've heard it so much it doesn't bother me.
Subdued in the chair,
Sinking sinking sinking,
And I feel my consciousness claw at the edges of existence,
I hear myself begging in the back of my head,
And tears prick my eyes as I'm shoved back into the closet.
I am enveloped by the darkness again,
Fist pounding on the door.
Bones crunching with force.
"Please, I'll be good if you let me back out."
I sound like water in a cave,
Dirty and echoed,
Warbled.
I open my mouth to scream,
And it's silent.
I've been muted.
I've been hidden.
I am always locked away,
Because I am a lot.
