forever - [book two in the amorous series]

thirteen - therapy

*tw: physical/domestic abuse/r*pe*

Michonne 

"So, it's been awhile. You look different. Happier. What's changed?"

I looked my therapist in her eyes and gave her a small smile. "I am happier... I had another baby, got engaged, and am in the process of moving in with my fiancé as well. I don't see Mike and I got full custody of Andre. We're working on my fiancé adopting Andre and me adopting his son as well."

Dr. Jannen smiled. "I'm so glad to hear all of this. You deserve to be safe and happy with a family, like you always told me you dreamt of." 

I nodded. There was a brief pause of sound in the air -- it had to be no more than two seconds -- before I spoke again. 

"I think Rick wants another baby but I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

Dr. Jannen nodded. "Do you think he would force you?"

My face involuntarily twisted into a confused expression. 

"No. No, he would never do something like that. He wouldn't even attempt to do anything that could hurt me." 

I shifted in my seat as she observed me. 

"Are you holding something back? You know this is a free space."

 "I'm not holding anything back... You just made me uncomfortable."

"How did I make you uncomfortable? Speak freely." 

Her voice was so gentle and smooth, almost as if it was caressing the air. That pissed me off all the more. 

"He would never do something like that to me. Why would you even ask something like that?"

She opened her mouth to speak, "I just-"

"No, no. No. You think just because I let what happened with Michael happen that I would just let another man come and hurt my son? And me? And -"

This time she cut my sentence short. "No, Michonne. That isn't what I meant at all. I-"

"It is!" I stood up and grabbed my purse. "I'm leaving. I can't do this." 

I made my way to the door as she spoke again. "You aren't obligated to talk to me, but if there's something you need to get off of your chest, Michonne," she paused for just a second. 

I turned to face her. I could feel my face flush as she continued to speak. 

"Michonne can you tell me why you're so upset?" 

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek. "Mike came to our house while Rick was at work and the kids were at school. And we talked. He wanted me to know that he's changed and that he wants to be in Andre's life." 

She nodded. "What did you respond with?"

I let out a shaky sigh. "I.. I told him he needed to leave and that he was violating his restraining order. He isn't to be less than 200 feet from the house and us at all times." 

She let me continue speaking. 

"He grabbed my arm. Tried to kiss me. I didn't want to make a scene that the neighbors saw, so I pulled away and told him that I would call Rick if he didn't leave. He didn't. He got furious. He hit me right across my face... And it all came flashing back. Every punch. Every slap. Every "bitch". Every time he hit my son.. Every bruise.. Every single time he violated me and used our relationship as an excuse. Everything." 

I paused to breathe before continuing. "I've been so distant from Rick. He keeps asking me what's wrong and why I won't talk to him and I-" 

My head fell in my hands as I continued. "I can't even tell him. I don't want to tell him."