chemical kids & mechanical brides. ☽ andy biersack

10 • bow down

"if you seek forgiveness,
you'll get nothing from me."

☆

dahlia's pov

"don't give him anymore attention." my head shot quickly back to face forward as i felt chris's firm hand move from my waist to my shoulder, redirecting me when i peeked back once more at the fuming man we'd left standing alone. i soaked up what i didn't want to admit was falling down my cheeks, dragging my hand against my face to wipe it away.

i can't believe i slapped him; words repeated in my head like a skipping record. i stared in front of myself with tv static for thoughts, not one coherent sentence spelling itself out in front of the eyes of my mind. a shaking, awful mesh of emotions swum in my chest; something on the line between pure, burning red anger and the feeling of my heart hitting the pit at the bottom of my stomach.

whatever it was, i feared that any moment i would have to run out of my hero's arms to find the closest place i could vomit.

every damn day of my life i wished i could mean the so outwardly confident "i don't give a fuck"s i handed out to my critics. but this terrible feeling in my gut proved just how much of a liar i made of myself every time it left my mouth.

i was all too quickly pulled out of my distracted haze by chris's strong hands on both sides of my shoulders. my eyes widened as our faces quickly lined up, his upper body leaning down to make us level with each other.

"dahlia." he said as if he was repeating himself for the hundredth time. i realized i must've faded away far enough to not hear him calling my name over and over. "are you alright?" his voice grew soft as he slowly let go of me.

"he didn't really do anything." i immediately started the conversation i knew he was not so subtly trying to get to. "physically, i mean." i adjusted the slightly disheveled parts of my dress.

"i'm gonna head back to the guys." justin quickly commented before making his exit. chris nodded and turned back to me to reply. i could tell he picked up on the emotion between the two of us; that maybe we needed to have this moment alone.

"he," he paused and let out a sigh of frustration, his face revealing how he let his anger simmer out before he started again. "he still shouldn't be putting his hands on you like that."

"i mean, i can't really get that mad. i did kinda like.. slap him in the face." my eyes bounced from side to side.

"and i have no doubt he deserved it." i could tell he had his mind made up about the man down the hall just by the tone in his voice. "i apologize if i sort of insisted upon myself back there." he took a moment before he began to turn the conversation back onto himself and me. "i just couldn't stand by and watch that happen."

"no, no you're– it's okay." i insisted, worried the appreciation i had for him wasn't showing through like i'd thought it was. "i'm scrappy. i would've been okay. but i appreciate it anyways." i joked, trying to lighten the space between us a bit.

thankfully, his hard face softened to let him laugh. "you're just kind of small, so i guess i assumed." his hand reached for the back of his neck, fixing the collar of his shirt. "sorry."

"don't sweat it." nothing but the sound of our awkward laughs following by assuring reply; only the quiet staring we both seemed to slip into together within seconds remained. his right jaw pointed downwards to fix his eyes on my small stature while his lips melted into a soft line. the sound of my heart kicking up again rang through the space between my ears. i shook myself to partly get us both out of the awkward lull we found ourselves in; but mostly to stop myself from saying anything i'd regret. "um," i squeezed my arm with my opposite hand, with pointed black acrylic nails digging into my own skin. "what– what time is it?"