Support Act // z.h

t w e n t y t w o

Stephanie's POV.

"Good evening, please take a seat" she says, gesturing her hands towards some tables and chairs. "My name is Deone, or Doctor Marsh. It's lovely to meet you Stephanie. Let's start with any questions you may have for me?" My eyes glance towards a small box filled with sensory toys, grinning, I draw my attention back to her "Can I play with those?" I ask, hearing a chuckle following. She nods her head as I reach forward and grab a small cube decorated with little moving pieces. "I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know how this works or what i'm supposed to do. I've never received counselling before and it's slightly overwhelming" I continue, the cube lacing my finger tips. Deone offers a smile "there is no right or wrong way to do it, I want to do my best to support you throughout these sessions and whatever method works for you is what we'll try." Deone answers. I nod in agreement as she pulls out a small book from beside her. "Now, journaling doesn't work for everyone, but i've heard you're a musician and write music? Maybe you could give it a go. You don't have to write a lot, even just three words describing your day or times where it gets very bad" she hands the small pink velvet book towards me, the softness of the velvet stimulating my hands. "Can I just straight away open up about everything with zero hesitation?" I ask, slightly giggling, bringing a smile to the doctors face. "It takes most people 2 to 3 sessions to open up properly, if you're feeling comfortable i'd be amazed and proud of you for doing so." Deone answered with a warm and inviting smile. I hesitate for a moment but realised I needed to talk about it because it's only going to get worse.

"I was going to kill myself the other day, that's why I was admitted into hospital and sent here. I was already so overwhelmed with the current life changes, especially between family and socially. I'm normally able to brush off hate but this time I just couldn't, there was so much of it and I just started to believe what they were saying. But looking back at it, I feel so extremely selfish to do that to my family, my friends and the people that look up to me. I had a panic attack a few days ago, just from looking at photos of friends and family. I've hurt them, i've disappointed them and worried them. I'm so scared to face my friends, I live with Jordan who's my older step-brother and I struggle even going and talking to him after what I've put him through" I blurt out, she nods her head, seeing if i'd say more. "I've received copies of your medical report, dating back to your hospital visit at birth. Within this, I could already tell you've gone through some incredibly tough and traumatising things. I've also seen you've been diagnosed and still battling with Depression and Anxiety and previously Bulimia, is that correct?" She asked, realising I wasn't going to say more. I nod my head to confirm, pushing my hair back behind my ear. "To put it simply, you're ill. Mental illnesses are still as important as physical ones. If you know a cancer patient who's in recovery, you wouldn't even blink an eye about their hair falling out, they're sick and that's what happens. You're sick, suicidal thoughts and ideation are symptoms of your illnesses. You wouldn't complain about your friend with Gastro throwing up, you'd understand because they're sick. It's easier said then done, i'm well aware but you need to hold your mental illnesses as important as physical. Your friends and family still love you, they know you're sick and they understand what you're going through." she finishes, pushing a small tissue box closer towards me after realising my teary eyes. I nod and grab a few tissues and wipe my eyes. "My family especially have gone through so much, I don't want to cause anymore pain then what they already have, they simply don't deserve it. Especially my biological dad and my sister, the first time after years and years they see me while i'm in a hospital bed. That's gotta hurt them, right?" I ponder.

"Well Stephanie, you've done absolutely amazing this session and i'm extremely proud of you. You're safety plan requires two sessions per week, when are you available for the next? I think Thursday at around 3 works for me, if that suits you?" She asks. I nods and she scribbles down the date on a card and slides it across the table. I thank her and she shows me to the door and I leave the office and head over to my car. Unlocking the door, tossing my bag and phone onto the seat next to me, beginning my journey home.

Swiftly pulling into the parking garage, I notice Jacks car next to my normal spot. I smile a little as I turn into my park and get out the car with my things. "Good evening Stephanie!" the security guard beams at me as I walk into the complex. I greet him back and walk into the elevator and approach the apartment door. "I hope she's doing better" I overhear as I scan my keycard to get inside. Dad, Jack, Sydnie and Jordan were all sitting around the living room, turning to face me as they hear the door open. "There she is" Jack smiles, walking over to hug me. He whispers a few things in my ear while I nod in acknowledgment. He lets me out of his embrace and we walk towards everyone else "I didn't expect you all to be here, I was supposed to film" I laugh, sitting on the large beanbag next to Jordan, causing him to ruffle my hair everywhere. "We were out for dinner and just wanted to see how you were doing on our way back" Sydnie says, offering me a smile. I glance at her features, looking at her it became very obvious that we were sisters. "I'm doing better and i'm going to be okay. I promise" I tell them all. We all got deep into a conversation about random topics as it got later and later into the night.

end of chapter. 1067 words :) - g