GOLDEN━━ᵗⁱᵏᵗᵒᵏ ᵍⁱʳˡˢ

𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭

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tw/ suicidal thoughts

scared of my own image, scared of my own immaturity,

y/n was always there for me, and i pushed her away. it was immature of me, and i loved her. i should've never kissed blake

scared of my own ceiling, scared I'll die of uncertainty,

i was sitting ontop of our shared bed staring at the ceiling. y/n's been gone for hours, and i was scared. my phone started ringing, so i answered it.

"hi, is this amelie zilber?" someone asked

"yes, this is amelie speaking" i replied.

"hi, this is about y/n y/l/n" she said, as my heart dropped.

Fear might be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety,

i was beyond anxious, and scared to death, as i dont know what happened to y/n or where y/n is

Don't know what's inside of me, don't forget about me,

"y/n has unfortunately died, in a car accident. im so sorry for your loss" the lady says. of course, just my luck, the last thing she'll remember about me is that i cheated on her. i dont want her to forget about me. i dont know what possessed me to cheat on her.

Don't forget about me,

i hope she doesnt forget me

Even when I doubt you ,i'm no good without you.

i doubted my love for her, and i payed the price, but im no good without her. i need her and i cant live without her

Temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping,

i feel myself hyperventilating, and freaking out. i become cold and sweaty, and i feel tears run down my face.

I'm not sure if I can see this ever stopping, Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts,

i dont know if this will ever stop, maybe i should join her

no,

no, i cant

You are all that I've got,

she wouldnt want me to do that

no.

right, i cant do that

Don't forget about me, Don't forget about me,

i just hope she doesnt forget about me

Even when I doubt you, I'm no good without you.

i know i doubted my love for her, but im not good without her. i need her as my rock, my stone

Gnawing on the bishops, claw our way up their system, repeating simple phrases, someone holy insisted,

repeating the simple phrases that i would murmur to her at night.

I want the markings made on my skin, To mean something to me again,I hope you haven't left without me, please.

i cant feel anything, ive become numb. everything i do is meaningless. i wanna feel again

Don't forget about me, Don't forget about me,

i hope she hasnt forgotten about me...

Even when I doubt you, I'm no good without you

im not good without her. i never was or will be, because i doubted my love for her, but i really do love her.

LOLAS CORNER

long overdue ending!