Chapter 29 - Mental pain

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TW: Torture, skip to ••• to avoid

~~~

"LOKI?!" the god's eyes snap up to the large metal framed doors where your head peaked through the eye slot. "Oh my god!"

"Y/n?!" Loki's blistered and raw wrists rubbed against the metal more. "What are you doing here??"

"Saving you!" he watched you bust down the door and run over to his side. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry," you kisses his cut forehead and sore cheeks sweetly. "I love you, so much, Loki, I'm so sorry,"

Loki's throat went dry as he leaned in and kissed your lips sweetly. "I love you too," tears fell from his eyes as he pulled away to see you laughing lightly.

"That was such fun," your face peeled away to reveal Faye Silverton, the woman he had first met the moment he woke up in this wretched place. She had tormented him with heat against his Jotun skin, blades digging into his flesh but by far... this was the worst.

He had hoped so much for the past 4 days for you to turn up and save him, help him. To think that had happened, that his prayers were answered and life would be spared only to be stripped away with her malicious laugh... he felt nauseous.

"Aw, poor god," Faye pet his head as his pale, malnourished face read a sickening fate. But he held it back, fearing retaliation from her.

Whatever memories he had talked through, resolved with the help of Banner's therapy when it came to Thanos, it went to waste the moment that hot rod burned his snow skin.

"Please, stop," he was never one to beg for mercy let alone whimper for it, but all he wished was to be back in the tower, going about his routine, hopefully solving his mistake with you. "Please,"

Her sadistic laugh rung out. "This is just the beginning!" Faye's nails scraped along the skin exposed from slashes in his shoulder. The red acrylic pushed through the dried blood and into the raw flesh. Holding it there for a second as Loki cried out, she retracted and smiled. "Until next time,"

"Please... Gods, save me," Faye smirked at his pitiful prayer before slamming the door shut.

~~~

•••

Not a word, whisper or hoarse wheeze on the streets of anything to do with the taken god and that really made you... frustrated in a sense but in a way you knew it wouldn't be this easy. Hydra wanted you to work for it, make you suffer as you had made them in the past for helping SHIELD.

But you weren't an idiot. They wanted this, to trap you in their territory and kill you. That's what you didn't get—no not why they wanted to kill you, but why you were willing to risk your life for Loki. Why would you put everything you've worked for on the line for him?

He had belittled you, words little but sharp enough to dig a decent wound.

Love or sentiment... that's why. A weakness you were so sure to get rid of yet failed continuously. However, this time this love came from no where. Why him? You had Mathew which built over time, Leo was one night yes but you had talked about actually dating. But Loki? Not once had you thought about him more than a fuck buddy or friend.

Now it had been blown into pure, disgusting, weak, painful love.

~~~

The thought of his pain clouded your mind for the next few nights. Working endlessly for a lead and yet nothing turned up.

Anytime before, not to compare him to the other two but... if Mathew was hurt you knew he could handle himself, as Leo was being held for questioning and later disposed in your hands you felt no remorse.

But Loki was a god, yes, yet you felt the need, the urgency, the responsibility to assure his safety and wellbeing. And that could only be done when he was in your arms.

You had forgiven him as the days went by. No more built up aggression or sadness from what he had said. The memory ran over in your mind over and over again like a broken record. Why he had said such things was now obvious. Or at least you hoped your deductions were correct.

He was protective of you, loved you back maybe. You hoped it was that; love. But it could be purely platonic, sibling like maybe but, gods, you hoped not.

You wanted him to hold you close, kiss you, whisper words of affirmation in your ear as you curled in his arms, protected form the big bad world you had been exposed to so early on.

He was your safe house. Not even your safehouse in Greece, France, Indonesia, China, or Argentina could provide.

He was your home and now he was missing and you hated it.

You couldn't know if he was ok.

Anna couldn't update you that he was recovering or that he was still in the towering doing his usual business.

That pain persisted until you decided enough was enough. Someone wasn't telling you something and you were certain it your inside voice in Hydra. He wasn't telling you something and you knew he knew where Loki was.

"Boss, where are you going?" Anna had caught sight of you as she stuffed her face with milk chocolate digestives.

"Out to do a job someone isn't doing," you pulled your mask on and slammed the door shut leaving Anna confused yet she resumed eating and watching Helluva Boss again.

~~~

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- Anna ❤️

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