Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chaptee 46 | Celebrations?

Graduation.

Something that was supposed to be a celebration.

But for me? It was only a reminder of everything that had happened.

Two weeks had passed since the incident in my room.

And since then, it had only gotten worse.

Things kept happening around me.

There would be threats in my car on post it's.

More bricks thrown through my window.

Photos of me posted through the letterbox that I had no knowledge of being taken.

I was going insane.

Finals were over now, and I'd failed.

Sitting in those exam halls had been horrible.

I was so jumpy, I couldn't focus, I don't think I answered more than 2 questions on each paper.

I couldn't stop thinking about it, I couldn't not be afraid.

I got it in my head that every other student in those exam halls could kill me at any moment.

Even when it got to the point of wishing that to be true, to end this.

We'd once again moved house, living with Yammy now.

It was a small flat, a lot safer as it was surrounded by other residents, much harder to get in.

But this was the fourth move.

When we'd tried to stay with Lauren, that's when we came home to find knife marks all over the walls.

When we'd stayed with Callum, that's when we found cameras all over the place.

And when we'd stayed with Oli, that's when the fires started.

I was surprised my friends were even letting me stay with them at this point.

And I couldn't shake the feeling, the awful feeling that I was putting them in so much danger.

But they refused to have it any other way.

We would've moved in with Yammy earlier but she had grandparents staying with her.

But yes.

I'd failed.

I wasn't graduating.

Everyone else was, even Jessie had managed to pull it off last minute.

But I hadn't.

Not even remotely close.

Which I didn't expect to.

After what happened at Jessie's, exams were not the most prevalent thing on my mind.

I had to repeat this year, next year.

Which sucked.

Usually i'd only have to take the exam again, but because my attendance was so dreadfully low, I had no credit, so I couldn't graduate no matter what I did this year.

So I would be watching all my friends graduate without me.

Tears spring to my eyes.

This was all so fucked up.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

"YOUR SALVATION HAS ARRIVED." Jessie burst through the door dramatically, scaring the shit out of Yammy and I, who prior to I had been loosing to in a game of uno.

It wasn't doing much to distract me.

"What on earth are you talking about." Yammy deadpans.

We're all exhausted.

"I, your genius friend, have concocted a plan."

I'm alert at this, "plan?"

She nods vigorously, and I feel my hopes risings.

"Just wait for the other nut jobs to get here and I'll explain." She looks at my phone ringing on the table, "and maybe silence your phone?"

I sigh dejectedly, Carlisle had been ringing me non stop for weeks, but I really was not in the mood for it right now.

Whatever crisis he was having could wait.

It was a tiny bit unreasonable since I'd been making him wait for a month now, but who needed reason when you were being hunted.

Putting my phone on silent, we sit in silence waiting for the others.

When the door opens I flinch on reflex.

"Jesus Liz you look like shit." Oli exclaims.

"OLI?!" Lauren smacks him over the head.

His eyes widen as he thinks over what he said, "shit Liz I didn't mean it like that I just..."

I put my hand up, "it's fine. It's true anyway."

I did, I looked like absolute shit.

My hair was a mess, so greasy and in a limp and pathetic pony tail, I'd been in the same hoodie for days, eating in it, sleeping in it, going to exams in it.

It was gross but I really couldn't bring myself to care at this point.

I have massive bags under my eyes and my face looks pale and lifeless.

But none of that mattered right now.

Jessie had a plan.

And I had hope.

The smallest flame of it burning in the pit of my stomach.

Everyone gets settled while I fidget anxiously, every second feeling like a year.

"Ah shit I need the bathroom." Oli stands up, but I slap my arm down on his leg, forcing him back into the chair.

Whether it was the gaunt yet deadly look on my face or the fact that I was currently holding him down, Oli makes no second attempt to move, muttering that he'd "just hold it."

"I think that's best." I take my hand off his leg.

Joel is looking at me with wide eyes at my display of aggression, but I brush it off, too desperate to hear what Jessie's plan is to worry about that right now.

"Jessie?!" I bark out.

"Yes yes!" She puts her phone away, "my genius plan"

I don't move once while she tells us her idea, my back ramrod straight, my neck so tense that I know it's going to go stiff by tomorrow

No one says anything while Jessie talks, the room dead silent besides her words.

Only when she finishes is this silence broken.

Irritatingly, by Oli making a mad dash for the bathroom.

Even when trying to figure out how to take down a drug gang, the boys bladder can't wait.

I would roll my eyes if I was focused on that.

But I wasn't.

I was instead running through Jessie's plan in my head in utter shock.

Not why you may think however.

Not because it's impractical, or ridiculous, or simply too difficult or dangerous.

For quite the opposite actually.

The reason of such white scares me, but only fans the flame of hope.

The plan, the plan is perfect.