After Life[Zarry]

Seven

'We'll be a fine line, We'll be alright'

Zayn often had down days, Harry knew that, they were days when the world was just too much for Zayn to bear and he just wanted things to turn off for a second. They were the days where Zayn missed Victoria missed the most and spent his time cuddled in a corner in the dark, replaying old videos while listening to the voice mail, over and over again. Harry knew this, he knew it was best to leave Zayn alone during those days, although it hurt him, it hurt him to the point that it was almost physical, knowing Zayn was in so much and there was nothing he could do about it. Sometimes these down days lasted for extended periods of time and Harry could go perhaps a week or more without seeing Zayn until he showed up at the bakery, a smile on his face, pretending he was ok, but with eyes red, evidence of his pain that he tried miserably to hide. These days seemed to affect Ava as well, Harry had noticed, during the days Zayn wasn't around Ava slumped around the house, playing miserably with her toys as if Zayn's hurt was her hurt and his pain was her pain, Harry admired that Zayn had such an impact on his daughter but it only made him more worried. Zayn was an unstable man and though he knew Zayn loved Ava as if she was his own, his emotions were all over the place and he was volatile, unpredictable and Harry knew one day he'd explode and as much as he cared for Zayn, he placed his daughter first and Ava was simply too young to be exposed to something like that. 

The past few weeks had been particularly hard, ever since the moment in the park, where Zayn had confessed that he didn't feel worthy of love, Harry had gone above and beyond to try and prove him wrong. Spending every moment he could with him, telling Ava to be extra nice and affectionate whenever he asked Zayn to babysit her, something that was no problem for the five year-old because she absolutely adored Zayn and spending time with him. Every time he went to pick her up, the pair would either be laughing at the dinner table, cuddling on the couch, watching a film, well Ava watching the film while Zayn slept next to her, out in the farm with the animals or simply asleep on the couch, Ava's small body resting on top Zayn's, his chest rising and falling slowly. Despite all the extra and love Ava and Harry were trying to show Zayn, Harry could still see the pain in his eyes, the blank look he had on his face as he stared off into the distance whenever he invited him over dinner. Often, when he went on his daily visit to Madeline's grave, he'd find Zayn already there, on his knees in front of Victoria's headstone, shoulders moving up and down as he sobbed violently. Harry would go to him and hug him, tell him everything would be alright as Zayn clung to him desperately. It brought tears to Harry's eyes and he wished more than anything that his wife were here, she'd know what to do. Madeline was always great at comforting people, something that Ava seemed to inherit.

Harry hadn't seen Zayn in a while, almost two weeks to be exact and usually he wouldn't be too bothered about this, knowing he was probably having a down day and needed space. Eventually, Harry knew he'd come around. He always came around, no matter how long it took. However, on this particular day Harry felt something wasn't right. He felt it right in his bones, a cold feeling running through him as if foreshadowing some type of impending doom. He had spent the day ignoring it but at one point, it had become too much to bear, his heart felt like it was falling and everything he did was jittery, muscles controlled by his nerves, so much so that he couldn't decorate a single cake or do anything right. Ava was staying over at a friend's for the night, so, Harry figured he'd go visit Zayn. Not only to make sure Zayn was alright, calming his jittery nerves but also to give Zayn a chance to talk, to know that he wasn't alone, that he'd never be alone. 

It was pouring outside, the sky dark and clouded as rain splattered harshly against the concrete, the weather matching his grim mood perfectly. Harry grimaced as he put on his coat and shoes, he wasn't too eager to make the short walk to Zayn's farmhouse in this weather, however, he didn't own a car so he had no choice and he really felt like he had to go see Zayn, he didn't know why but he just had to. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, walking as fast he could towards his friend's home. As he passed Ava's school, coming closer and closer to his destination, he felt his nerves rise, hands trembling in his pockets as his heart rate increased slightly. Upon reaching Zayn's home, he knocked on the door loudly and rung his doorbell several times, several minutes passed and he got no reply. There was plenty of rational reasons as to why Zayn wasn't answering the door, maybe he was out or asleep or just wanted to be alone, but still Harry began to panic slightly. He had forgotten the spare keys Zayn had given him at home so decided to head round back to see if he could get in through the back door. He noticed that all the animals were still out of their pen which was the first indication that was something was wrong because in this gloomy weather, Harry knew that Zayn always liked to move the animals inside the stables or their pen, where they would be safe. He'd never leave them out like this if there was the danger of thunder.