After Life[Zarry]

Eight

Tell me something, tell me something. You don't know nothing, just pretend you do

His smile, Harry had decided, was the best part about him. The way his eyes crinkled when  he laughed, mouth open and teeth exposed with glee as his dark irises shone with delight. He had been doing that more often, he had noticed, Zayn was happier and Harry couldn't quite  decipher why. 

His eyes, Zayn had decided. They were the best part about him. The way they lit up when he was happy or excited and darkened when he was sad. The way they showed empathy and kindness, giving but a glimpse of Harry's caring and kindred soul, they were the best part about him, Zayn had decided, Zayn was happier and he knew Harry was why.

Months had passed since the dark and fateful night, a night that would have ended in calamity if not for the deep bond that the two men shared with each other, a deep bond that connected them in a way that was almost unnatural, the way Harry had known to save Zayn and the way Zayn had trusted him to do so, it wasn't normal, but then again, when has love ever been normal. 

Months had passed since the dark and fateful night, and the road to recovery had been anything but smooth. Harry had been overwhelmed, he had wanted to understand Zayn but never had he expected that understanding Zayn encompassed so much darkness and trauma. And, as much as he yearned to help him, he wanted to help him so badly, he wasn't sure if he could handle all that misery and trauma on top of his own grief, although he acted like it, he wasn't over Madeline and he didn't know if he ever could be. 

But, somehow it all ended up working out alright. Harry's sister was a psychologist and after month's of weekly sessions, Zayn was getting better, mind no longer a haze of anguish and suffering, stuck dwelling on the awful memories on the past. It was still hard, he still found himself crying to sleep, or listening miserably to the damned voice recording, however, his heart had started to become lighter and he found himself looking back at the memories of Victoria, of his wife, with fondness and gratitude of the love they shared and he was lucky to have had. Life after Victoria was hard, but Harry was helping him through it. 

In this time, the two men had become almost inseparable, Harry and Ava slowly spending more in time in Zayn's farmhouse than their actual home, not that any of them minded, in fact they loved it, especially Ava. She had started getting riding lessons from Zayn and Harry happily remembered the excitement on Ava's face when Zayn had presented her with a brand new pair of leather riding boots, something the five year old hadn't even realized how much she wanted until she saw them sitting in front of her. 

"For me?" She had questioned, pointing to herself while cocking her head to the side, slightly confused. Harry had been as confused at the time, they had arrived at Zayn's for a picnic with the animals when he suddenly took Ava from his arms excitedly. 

"I have a surprise for you." He whispered softly, putting his forehead against Ava's, the two of them giggling like best friends. It had been several weeks since his therapy had started and it was then, right at that moment, that was the moment that Harry had decided Zayn's smile was his favourite part about him. There were so many things about Zayn that he loved but his smile, there was just something about his smile and for the first time he hadn't felt guilty about thinking that.  

"But it's not my birthday, Daddy says I don't become six in," Ava frowned, glancing down at her fingers before ultimately putting seven up. "Seven months, that's still a long time Zaynie." Ava nodded her head matter-of-factly causing Zayn to throw back his head and laugh, again, Harry found himself unintentionally enthralled by him.

"I know babe, I know it's not your birthday. But if you want to learn how to start riding Apple Blossom, then you're going to need another pair of riding boots." Ava's eyes widened and she squealed at the prospect of finally getting to ride the pony she had gotten to name, a name Zayn had thought was ridiculous but for Ava he'd compromise. And that was another thing Harry loved about Zayn, the way he loved Ava, as if she were his own, that was the selling point for him. Sitting on Zayn's back porch, sipping on his drink with a blanket Zayn had wrapped around him, watching Zayn and Ava trot side by side in the fields, each on their own horses, he felt happy, like Zayn was what Ava was missing in her life. He would never replace Madeline, no, no one ever could and Harry would go to his grave telling Ava everything about her mother and just how amazing she was but he deserved happiness and he knew Maddie would have wanted him to be happy and quite simply, Zayn brought him happiness.