(3) Not the Same: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 7: Left Off

        I hated the way that I was thinking of Zack so frequently now that I'd run into Stella. He hasn't been a subject of my thoughts for a few years now, unless I happened to see a fan with one of their t-shirts on, or a flier hanging up around town when they had a show. I tried not to think of Zack, as often as possible, actually. Ever since my past has been creeping up on me, I can't help it. I give into the stupid memories the same way that I would cave to his smile and beautiful eyes.

        When Zack and I stopped talking the summer he left for his first tour, I tried so hard not to be upset about it. I didn't want to be upset, I really didn't. It shouldn't have meant to much to me, especially years later when I have another half-way relationship in the works. I shouldn't be thinking of Zack, or the things he did, or the things that reminded me of him, or the way he looked, or the way he smelled like summer air whenever I kissed him. I couldn't keep thinking about things like that.

        I was silently cursing myself while looking over at Craig, peacefully sleeping under the dark covers. I was trying to remember the way he looked, remember the way his body felt, the way he smelled. Even if I wasn't in love with Craig, there was something here, and I couldn't help but compare this to the same day that Zack left for tour all those summers ago.

        I reached my fingers over, touching his chin lightly. He flinched under the contact, eyes fluttering open for only a moment before groaning loudly. I giggled at him whlie he reached for my hips, dragging my body against his. He dug his face into my neck, creating a warm spot from his breath.

        "It's early, the suns not even up yet," he mumbled into my skin, lips brushing my collarbone lightly. I ran my hands through his slightly curly hair. I rolled my eyes at his exaggeration, knowing that the sun was coming up slowly through the curtains.

        "Thanks to you, I've been sleeping a lot these past few days, so now I'm awake."

        He pulled his face away from my throat, tired eyes meeting mine. I chuckled at him, brushing his hair away from his forehead. He gave me a lazy smile before leaning closer and kissing me softly. I let out a small breath against his mouth, hair curling against his hair instantly.

        "I can help you fall asleep again if you'd like," he smiled with his lips on mine. I grinned back, pulling my body closer to his. I missed his sense of humor already.

        "You still haven't finished packing," I said back, wondering why he waited until the last minute to do so. That's what Craig's always done; he never really made sense to me, no matter how much I tried.

        "Fuck packing, I don't need clean jeans anyway," he leaned closer to me, causing my body to roll back as he hovered over me. I laughed, lips touching his when I moved slightly. It was these moments when being together made so much sense, it was like breathing.

        "But all of those pretty, European girls like guys in clean pants," I blurted out without thinking, noticing the way his lips faltered on mine, knowing the way his mind wandered to other girls being with him. And then that moment of certainty for a relationship vanished, filling my brain with thoughts of all the other girls that have been in this bed in the last month.

        "I thought you were okay with this," he said, tearing his mouth away from mine to meet my eyes. I rolled mine back at him, trying to cover some of my hurt and confusion. I really was messed up in my head, with all of these mixed emotions I should be put away in some mental institute.

        "I was joking, Craig," I sighed, looking at him, rubbing my nose. He didn't believe me, not for a second. I hated the way that he knew me so well, and he knew that this probably meant more to me than it did to him. Even if I wasn't looking for a relationship, I still liked Craig, I really did. I couldn't help but feel a little bitterness in his departure.

        "You can stop lying," he smiled softly, "you were rubbing your nose."

        "I really am just kidding with you," I reahced up to my face again, catching myself and moving to run my fingers awkwardly through my hair as a cover up. He noticed, leaning forward and kissing me mouth so softly I almost missed it.

        "You act like I'm running away forever," he said against my skin, lips moving to my jaw, and down the side of my throat. I couldn't help but forget my bitterness, melting into his touch.

        "You're running away for three months," I said quietly, "I just -- we've been together for six years. It's hard getting used to the idea that you'll be gone for three whole months."

        He continued to move his mouth to my neck, making my breathing uneven. I wished he would just listen to me right now; I was trying to be serious. All he was focused on was the way my skin tasted. It didn't really surprised me; it was like Craig to do that.

        "No matter who I meet in Europe, I'm coming home in August," he said, mouth sliding over mine, resting on top gently. I could feel his movements against mine when he spoke. "And we'll pick up right where we've left off, nothing will have changed when I get back."

        "And where exactly are we leaving off?" I asked curiously, feeling myself smile at what he'd said. He was coming home. This want's the same as Zack, he would be back here for his fall classes at UCLA, and he'd be working on his master's in business, and he wouldn't break his promise to me.

        Maybe we wouldn't be dating; maybe he will see another girl as soon as he gets back. But he always keeps his promises when he says he'll come back. I could always count on him when he said that.

        "Well, I was thinking right about here," he said, capturing my mouth with a long kiss. I could feel him grinning against me, one hand moving behind my back and pulling my chest tightly to his. I moved my hand to his cheek, trying so hard to remember the way he tasted, just as I had with Zack seven summers before.