(3) Not the Same: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 27: Figure Out (Zack's POV)

        "What's up, butterfup?" I heard Stella's voice as she entered my apartment. I was surprised to see her there, without Alex at her side because they're always together. Stella was one of my best friends, even if it all started because she began dating Alex in high school. There's a bond that was between us that summer we left. We wanted a realtionship so much more than the people we were with did.

        At least, that's the way it felt to me at the time.

         "What're you doing here?" I asked, sinking further into my seat. I didn't even have the television on. It probably looked strange to anyone who walked in. I was staring at the black screen, looking at my reflection staring back at me for hours now.

        "I knew you turned down hanging out with the guys, so I figured something was up," she said, shutting the door and unzipping the sweatshirt she'd stolen from Alex's closet. I guess it was warm in my apartment, but I preferred it that way.

        "Nothing, really, just watching television," I said, kicking my feet up onto the coffee table in front of me. I usually didn't bother to hide things from Stella. She knew me too damn well, and I just ended up caving to her constant questions. It wasn't because she was annoying; she just had this way of getting you to tell her anything she wanted to hear.        

        "Oh, really?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at me as she glanced between me and the blank television. "Usually, watching television involves turning it on."

        "Have I told you to kiss my ass lately?" I asked, giving her a sarcastic smile. She rolled her eyes, setting her bag down at the edge of my black "L" shaped couch before moving towards the door that led to the kitchen. "What're you doing?"

        "Well, I know you haven't eaten, and I didn't get lunch between lessons today and I'm fucking starving," She said, picking up the phone that was never used, off of the hook by the door. "Pizza or Chinese?"

        "Why didn't you go back to your place?" I knew the answer to that questions. Alex was having a ton of guys over to drink and play x-box at the apartment they'd rented for the summer. I'm usualy up for it, but ever since being at Lauren's two nights ago, I was in a funk, and it was starting to piss me off.

        "Do you really think I want to sit in that apartment with ten boys for five hours?" She asked, dialing a number into the phone before waiting for my response for what I'd prefer and pressed it to her ear. I think she just knew I liked pizza more. "I was going to come here even if you weren't home."

        Someone must have picked up the phone, because she was now focused on placing an order for a large pizza and a side of fries. I zoned her out, staring at the television screen once more, losing myself in the same thoughts that have been flooding my mind for forty-eight hours straight now.

        Why did I have to go and do that? Why did I lean forward and kiss her? There was no reason for me to. I should have just pulled away and smiled like nothing was wrong. She just smelled so good, and everything was just like high school all over again. I fucked up everything by doing that. She is in a relationship, for Christ's sake. What the fuck was I thinking?

        Stella fell onto the couch next to me. I jumped in surprise, not noticing her get off the phone. She glanced at me, but I didn't bother to look in her direction. She was waiting for me to talk, but I didn't want to.

        "I know what happened with Lauren."

        How does she always know everything?

        "I got her to tell me on the phone yesterday morning," she picked at her nails, answering the question that never left my lips. For a girl that didn't have a friend until she got to her senior year of high school, she definitely knew how to handle people. "So now, just tell me what's bugging you about it."

        "Nothing's bugging me, Stell. I just need to figure out what I want," I murmured quietly, picking myself off the couch and moving towards the swing door that went to the kitchen. I pushed it open, feet meeting the cool back tile that covered the floor. I tugged open the fridge, eeing what I had to drink. I needed to go shopping for more water.

        "What do you mean figure it out? I thoguht you want to -- you know, be with her or whatever," Stella followed me, and I wasn't surprised. I gripped a red bull, turning around to see her leaning against the counter. I shrugged, cracking open the can without much thought.

        "Just because I want it doesn't mean it's a good idea," I laughed softly, shaking my head. "Things fucking sucked when she left the last time, you know that."

        "Who says she's going to leave again?"

        "Oh come on Stella. You might be a hopeless romantic, but you'd have to be an idiot if you thought she'd stay when Craig comes back," I felt the bitterness of his name on my tongue. I hated that kid more than anything, and the fact that he had Lauren was just another reason for me to want to kill him.

        "You don't know yet, things with Craig might be over by the time he comes back," she said running her fingers through her hair. By the tone of her voice, she knew something I didn't. But I didn't bother to ask, she would never tell me anyway.

        "And they might not be, I don't know and I don't think I want to stick around to find out," I put the can to my lips finally, taking a long chug. Id on't know why I drank this stuff, it tasted like cold medicine.

        "Of course you do," she grinned at me. "I know how much you care about her, even if you're too manly to tell me yourself," she used quotations around the word manly with her fingers. "I now how much you mean to her, too."

        "Why are you trying to play match-maker?" I asked, setting my half-empty can on the counter. She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest.

        "I love both you guys. I want you to be happy."

        "And how do you think this could make either of us happy?" I asked with another small laugh. I met her green eyes, seeing how fierce they could be. Her smile grew while she giggled herself.

        "Because I know that you know it," she said with the same confidence that Alex had in his voice whenever he said something that was true. Sometimes, they were too much alike; it almost scared me. "I'm not stupid, Zack. I know that no matter how much you think about it, you're going to say yes. If you're so convinced Lauren will leave when Craig comes back, why waste your time? You have almost two months to be with her. Take what you got."

        I couldn't open my mouth to say anything else, because the intercom buzzed loudly. Stella only left me with a smile before walking to the door, leaving me to try and sort alll of the fucked up emotions out in my brain.