(3) Not the Same: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 38: Decisions

        Stella disappeared back into the changing room, swapping the wedding gown for the pale sundress she'd previously been wearing. After returning the dress back to the rack she'd found it on, we walked back towards the exit, Stella reminding us that there were stores she still wanted to go in.

        As we passed the entrance of the shop, I noticed a small group of girls, mid-teens by their looks, hovering around a bench, talking. One of them watched as we walked out, sporting a Glamour Kills t-shirt and short denim shorts, peering cautiously between two of her friends standing in front of her. By the way her eyes followe Stella and Kara, I know she was a fan of All Time Low, and probably recognized them from blogs and gossip sites, or concerts where they'd been waiting around, hoping to see one of the guys and catching Alex and Stella together. I wondered, when she looked at me, if she also recognized who I was.

        As we walked past them, I noticed how she grabbed the attention of her friends, having them all turn to us too. I looked away, praying they weren't the type of girls to photograph anybody interesting they saw out and about. The last thing I needed was Craig having a reason to believe I was seeing Zack, no matter how many times I told him I would just be with Stella.

        "Doesn't that bother you?" I asked, after we'd mae it a safe distance away from the group. Stella and Kara both glanced at me, the light conversation they'd be having interrupted.

        "Does what bother us?" Kara asked, shifting her body to move past a lady with a stroller who was too busy trying to talk on her phone with her screaming kid to move out of the way.

        "That sometimes people recognize your relationship with the guys," I answered. "That people are interested in your life because you're dating, or dated one of them."

        "I don't really notice," Kara laughed, "it's no big deal to me if people remember who I am."

        "People only know me because they'd like to get rid of me so Alex can be single again," Stella smiled, like the thought of hundreds of jealous girls didn't bother her.

        "Why, would it bother you?" Kara asked. "I'm sure there's somebody who already knows who you are."

        "I don't know, I guess not," I muttered, scratching gently at my nose. When I realized I was doing it, I let my hands fall quickly, relaxing after a moment when I realized Stella and Kara hadn't picked up on that trait of mine. They couldn't question as to why it actually bothered me, and my promise to Craig still remained a secret.

        "Hey, there's another shop with bridesmaids dresses," I mumbled, looking at a store we were passing. We hadn't looked at any in the last shop, and I knew Kara still wanted to.

        "Thanks for reminding her, Laur," Stella groaned, giving me a teasing smile. I shrugged, watching Kara peer into the store.

        "We'll be quick, in and out," Kara promised, walking in on the other side of Stella.

        "You know, sometimes you're more excited about this wedding than I am," Stella joked as we entered the brightly lit store, filled with white gowns and colorful bridesmaids dresses.

        "I love weddings," She beamed, already looking through dresses, searching for ones she liked. "They're so beautiful." Stella glanced at me, rolling her eyes, Kara too wrapped up in the dresses to notice. I laughed lightly, drawing Kara's attention.

        "Are you making fun of me?" she asked Stella, seriousness etched onto her face. Stella shook her head no, but was biting back a smile. Kara ignored the gesture, eyes falling to me.

        "Come on, Laur. Now's a good time to get an idea of what you want," she pushed, moving easily around to another rack.

        "She might be excited now, but once I drag her into actually planning the wedding, she'll wish she hadn't gotten involved. Her mom drove her nuts while planning her sister's wedding," Stella muttered to me, eyes following her friend throughout the store.       

        We looked through all the racks, pulling out styles that weren't completely hideous. Kara's favorite was a form fitting, strapless dress with beaded detailing, in either blue or Kelly green. It had a short pick up skirt, falling just above the knees.

        After Kara had exhausted all her options, we left, Stella telling her that for the rest of the time we were at the mall, we weren't going into any more wedding stores. We moved from store to store, stopping in all the places Stella had mentioned, and af ew others along the way. It was late afternoon by the time we'd left, later then I'd hoped, giving me less time for work before Zack got out of the studio. I thought about calling and saying I really needed to study, but dismissed the idea only minutes after it entered my brain. I didn't want to not see Zack, we could just cut the time short.

        "Sorry for keeping you out later than planned," Stella said, turning after she'd pulled into a parking spot at my apartment. "Are you going to come by tomorrow? Everybody's going to be over."

        "Well, I have classes in the morning, and work for a little after that," I said thinking about the long day, "I might be able to swing by after that."

        "As long as you're up for it," Stella responded quickly. "If you just want to go home, don't feel like you have to come. I'm sure Zack woudln't mind being at your place instead. It'll be a lot calmer," she gave me a teasing smile, leaning her shoulder comfortably in the seat.

        "Yeah, I'll let you know," I said quietly, reaching to open the door. "Bye, Kar," I added, hearing her goodbye as I pushed open the door. I shut it, taking long steps over to my apartment, glancing over to see Stella's car pulling out of the lot. I sighed deeply, digging through my purse for my keys.

        Walking around all day had left an ache in my legs and a feeling of exhaustion throughout my entire body, but the reminder of school books spread out kept me from thinking about collapsing and falling asleep.

        As I slowly climbed the stairs to my apartment I thought about what Zack had said the other day, how I couldn't keep stretching myself so thin. I knew he was right, but so was I. There was nothing I could do about it. I needed to work to keep the apartment while Craig was gone, and I was so close to being done with school, only a little over a month left. After that, I hoped things would become easier. I could find a permanent job, replacing my crazy school and Starbucks schedule with that. I would also be making more than I was at my part-time job, which would hopefully relieve some of the stress of the bills that added to my life.

        When I got into my apartment, I leaned my back against the door as it clicked shut, closing my eyes softly. My life was completely disorganized, at some points close to craving in. I was a mess, stretched so thin between school and work, and torn between two people who have liked nothing more than to see the other person gone forever.

        Soon enough, I was going to start making decisions, decisions I wouldn't like, no matter who or what I picked.