Random One-Shots

My Agent - Phil Coulson x Steve Rogers

"Son of Coul definitely feels some attraction for you, Captain."
"That is a load of rubbish, Thor. I thought that he has a wife." 
"Pepper would know. She is friends with him. You have a chance, Spangles."
"For the last time, I don't like Agent Coulson."

The entire argument began with Steve commenting on the fact that Coulson was acting strange and nervous around him. Despite not being from Earth, Thor knew what that probably meant, and began teasing the Captain about Coulson's obvious attraction towards him. Now, the Avengers were stood in a room, arguing about whether they ship the pair. Everyone was set on the relationship happening, other than Steve.

"C'mon Cap. You have to admit that you feel something for him." Nat told him.
"Yep, it's called FRIENDSHIP. The same thing that I have with all of you."
"You have to tell us what's going on between you two!" Clint asked.
"Nothing."
"But something could happen if you had the balls to ask Coulson out!"
"Who's asking me out?"

Everyone turned to look at the door, where Agent Coulson was standing, a confused look on his face. 

"N-no one, A-agent." Steve stuttered.
"Agent Barton, I'm sure you'll tell me."
"That depends, Coulson. Is it an order or not?"
"If that's what it takes, then yes."
"The Cap over here want's to fuck you."
"Ok, what the hell?"
"I-it's not true. Th-thor made it all up."
"Have we made Captain America flustered?" Clint asked.
"We'll leave the happy couple alone. Use protection!" Nat shouted as the group left.
"Shut it, Agent Romanov."

"So, you gonna tell me what the hell Clint meant?"
"You know how you were, and still are quite a big fan of me. Well, Thor mistook that for attraction and now all of the Avengers think that something is happening between us."
"Well, it's an easy mistake to make, so I can't blame them. I constantly blush around you, mainly because I've waited like 45 years to be able to meet you, and now I work with you. You are quite literally my hero. You know you can trust me. If they're giving you a hard time, find me and I'll kill them. I know all of their weaknesses."
"I will, Agent."
"Please, call me Phil."

TIME SKIP ~ Brought to you by flying monkeys ~

"Where you off to, Spangles? Off for some passionate love making with Coulson?"
"Maybe I am. JARVIS, where's Coulson?"
"IT'S HAPPENING!"
"Mr Rogers, Agent Coulson is currently in his bedroom. Would you like me to alert him that you're coming?"
"No, thank you."
"I'm sure that Agent Coulson would like to know if you are going there to engage in sexual activities."
"We aren't, JARVIS."

Steve walked down the long corridor that lead off too all of the S.H.I.E.L.D agent's bedrooms. He knew where Coulson's room was because he made breakfast for all of the agents after he learnt how to use the stove. He finally arrived at the man's door, knocking to make sure that he was alone.

"Coul- Phil. Are you in there?"
There was no answer.
"Are you ok?"
No answer.

He went ahead and opened the door, finding that the room was completely dark. He could vaguely see the outline of a bed and a closet. He walked over to the window and opened Phil's black out curtains, revealing the outside world. It was quite late, and getting dark out. He turned to the bed, seeing Phil spread out in a pair of Captain America pyjamas on top of the bed. He looked peaceful. 

The small amount of light that was coming in from the window shined on Phil's face, making Steve realise actually how handsome the younger man was. For a moment, Steve just stared, until he realised how creepy it was. He grabbed one of the chairs that were in the corner and positioned it near the window. He would get attacked with questions if he left now, so he may as well stay.

Phil stirred for a few minutes before waking up from his nap. He glanced over to the open curtains that he thought that he had shut before he fell to sleep. He saw someone sat near the window, and sat up, startled.