surge | loki laufeyson ¹

seventy-one

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ALEX AWOKE, THE split second of bliss fading away once she realized what had happened. She deeply sighed, sitting up in bed. The other side of the bed was still neatly made, in a room she had never occupied before. She couldn't bring herself to sleep in her actual room in HQ, as everything reminded her of Tony. He had set it up for her, after all. Seeing as shoving her into a closet/makeshift room all those years ago didn't work out too well. Or, depending on who you asked, it did turn out well. Nevertheless, he set aside a room specifically for her while she was gone, as if it made him believe she'd one day return.

She sat on the edge of the bed, hearing hushed voices out in the other room.

"She's still sleeping?"

"I believe so."

"Where was she this morning?"

"She wanted to take Peter to school. She knew it'd be hard for him to go alone."

"Let her sleep."

"I don't think we've fully discussed you being back. I'm not sure I totally trust it."

"Neither do I. You're shifty."

"Am I supposed to be offended?"

"We'll see what she decides."

"As if she'll ever decide to be away from me--"

The three men were cut off by the door in front of them opening. Alex's small frame paired with an annoyed expression stared back at them. Steve and Sam watched as she stepped forward, took Loki's hand and left the room.

"I could've bet on that one." Sam chuckled.

Alex and Loki stood on the balcony overlooking the water, a silence upon them. He had so many things he wished to say, but he couldn't quite figure out where to start. Alex, however, hadn't talked much at all for the last five days. Everyone was good about giving her space, especially Loki. He understood loss, it was practically a good friend of his.

As the days passed, everyone began to move on. Clint went home to his family. So did Scott. Peter finally felt good enough to go to school today. Steve and Rhodey stayed at HQ. However, Alex was having a hard time moving on. She woke up every night in a cold sweat, and every time she did, she regretted her bed being empty. But, she knew she needed time.

She just didn't know how much she'd need.

"How are you today?" Loki quietly asked.

She shrugged, her eyes on the water. "The thoughts haven't gone away."

He nodded. "Do you want to talk about them?"

"No."

"Alright."

She regretted rejecting him as soon as she did it, but she had no idea where to start with processing her grief. It had nothing to do with Loki, and all to do with herself. She hated the thoughts she had started to have, and didn't tell anyone about them. The night after the battle, she briefly confided in Loki before she began to have a panic attack. She only got one thought out before she shut down.

It's her fault.

"Alex," She heard a soft voice behind her. Pepper. "It's time for the will reading."

She nodded, happy to leave the awkward moment with Loki and turned to walk with Pepper. Then, she turned back toward him, meeting his eyes.

"Stay with me tonight?" She softly said once Pepper was out of ear shot. Loki's eyes widened a bit before nodding.