enigmatic |t.r.|

22.

oscar had always been an impatient boy.

when he was two years old, tiny frame and pretty eyes, he cried and cried because his birthday was still a week away.

when he was five years old, showing the first signs of magic, he wished and wished he could attend hogwarts sooner.

when he was eleven years old, just boarded on the train, he prayed and prayed it could go faster, just a little bit so he could learn everything in an instant.

when he was fourteen years old, he moved and moved in his sleep because he couldn't wait for his first quidditch game.

when he was fifteen years old, he walked and walked around the entire castle while thinking of this hufflepuff girl he had kissed the other night.

when he was sixteen years old, time finally paused.

he had seen her before, of course. she was quite memorable, with soft looking hair and pale blue eyes. it was a pity her robes were green though. not that it had never stopped him before.

he found her one day in the library and sat beside her. talking with her was easy, mostly because she rarely talked, she just listened and knew exactly what she needed to say.

beautiful like a lie.

sad like a truth.

he talked and talked because he couldn't wait to have her in his bed.

and then she kissed him.

the moment was there and then it was not.

his breath got lost somewhere between his lungs and his throat.

when they pulled apart, oscar would swear not a moment and a lifetime had passed.

after that, he never rushed with her. long, heated glances, slow kisses, hands wandering around a little bit longer, just lazy existing around the other.

they slept together.

he woke up alone.

time is cruel sometimes, when you don't want it to be.

time was almost not moving at all when he saw her with him.

time was cruel every time it reminded him who he had and who he lost and who tom riddle had found.

she avoided him, he knew that.

he couldn't take it.

don't avoid me.

he yelled at her one day he saw her in the end of a corridor after class.

she turned to leave but he was faster.

don't fucking leave. you came, you made time slower, you took my heart and then you just left.

her eyes were cold. a heart was suffering underneath.

i love you.

i never asked for you heart.

beautiful as a lie.

harsh as the truth.

i know. but it doesn't make it easier.

she gave him a sad smile.

i love you.

i wish i could be the person you need.

you are the one i need.

i love you.

her eyes were begging him silently, please don't say that.

i won't. i love you.

please oscar. please move on.

do you love him?

he asked, eyes blurry but cold.

she shook her head, a bitter smile finding its way on her lips.

of course she didn't love tom. she didn't know how. it was never about love. she didn't love anyone but if she did, she would love oscar.

tom never offered her love. she didn't want him to offer her love. she wanted him to offer her pain.

being with tom was always about pain.

he wanted a heart to break and she happened to have the right one.

she wanted someone to break her and he happened to be the right one.

it was always a matter of availability and need.

oscar loved her. love was too soft for her.

little did she know that love can make one do horrible things.

sometimes, love can hurt you more than pain.

in pain, you're always ready,

in love, you put your guard down sometimes.

and before you know, there's blood in your hands and you don't know if it's yours or your lover's.

oscar knew that and he loved her anyway.

love isn't for me. i was always destined for pain and you knew that.

the real question is not love or pain, but love or not love.

what do you choose then, oscar? love or not love?

love breaks your bones.

not love takes them.

love kills you.

not love doesn't let you live.

in the end, we all share the same skeleton.

i don't know.

and when he died, years later, of a killing curse coming from the wand of the dark lord himself, oscar knew.

love

he thought.

love was always the answer and she knew it.