My Dove, My Love

Old Habits

Empty. Her desk, and my heart. She moved back to her department 2 floors down. She didn't remember our work out days either and refused saying she was too busy and I should work with a sidekick.

I didn't get to see her. Feel her warmth wash away all my problems. I just wanted a hug, or to be held. I'm left only the memories of her fingers running through my hair.

My day off allowed me to finally try and get some answers.

"Hello sir, what are you in for?" The receptionist smiled sweetly

"I need to talk to a Dr. Suzuki"

"We can schedule an appointment-"

"Now" I could feel my feathers ruffling and fluffing up to make me look larger and intimidating. I honestly didn't mean to threaten but my body is acting on its own.

"Y-yes sir" the woman grabbed the phone.

A few minutes later a woman with short black hair came into the waiting area, "Who are you and what do you want?"

"Im Hawks. I'm here to talk about (Y/N)"

She shook her head, "I figured you'd show up. Come to my office"

I followed her back into her office. I hate places like this. I know she is supposed to be a doctor but she seemed more a psychiatrist than anything based on this place.

"What do you want?" She sat in her chair

"I want her memories returned"

"You're kidding?" The Dr took off her glasses looking me in the eye

"She has forgotten everything about me. I want her back"

"Start over" she put her glasses back on after cleaning them, "Not many get a fresh start, you should take advantage of this"

"Can't you just return her memories of me? Please?"

"You can't pick and choose. If I unblock yours I unblock them all. I'm guessing you are the one who did the damage in the first place"

"I know, I'm sorry but...is this even healthy?"

"Short answer. No"

"Long answer?" I press

"Long answer is what other option does she have?"

"I know while she was still at UA she probably couldn't cope but it's been years"

"Time does very little. She needs a support system. She has no scaffolding to rebuild herself up. I'd rather her keep her head down at what she has then hurt herself Climbing it herself"

"No support? She has parents, she ha-"

"Her parents and her have a sour relationship since the accident. Coworkers aren't actually there for you most times and her introverted nature doesn't leave much for friends. Even with things blocked it still affects her daily life"

"Like the plants?"

"The plants, her lack of trust, fear of forming close ties to anyone. So on"

"But I can help. I can be her scaffolding. I want to help her"

"Can you?" The Dr glared at me, "Cause so far all you've proven is how to make her life worse"

"I want to make her happy. Please. I care deeply about her" my hands were balled into fists on my pants to keep them from shaking. I didn't want to cry again.

I just wanted to help. I want her to be happy. What's worse is I also know, I just want to be selfish. Just this once I want to do what I whole heartedly want, and that is my Dove back.