heaven in a wildflower [criminal minds]

chapter nine - youth is wasted on the young

My fingers were cold, I instinctively curled my fingertips into the palm of my hand to try to warm them up, slowly becoming aware of my surroundings I could hear voices and the light was bright.

It smelt of coffee and the air felt heavy on my skin. An abrasive sensation ran down my throat as I swallowed, leaving a sore feeling in my mouth.

A soft touch ran across the back of my hand before settling between my fingertips.

I opened my eyes, wincing at first as they adjusted to the light. As the dark flashes cleared from my vision, I saw Leona holding my hand.

"Hey you" she whispered as a tear ran down her cheek. I coughed lightly "Hi" I replied. She looked to the doorway where the Doctor stood,

"Hello Esme, I've got a few checks to do, is that okay?" I nodded.

"Can I see my chart?" I said. He looked at me slightly confused, "I'm an EMT" I replied smiling.

"Of course," he said, passing it to me, from where it had been clipped on the side of the bed.

My eyes scanned the pages quickly, reading it made me feel slightly dizzy, my eyes darting across the words.

I sighed placing it down on the table next to a large, vibrant bouquet of flowers.

"Is Penelope here?" I asked Leona, still holding her hand

"what gave it away?" she said smiling.

"You can come in," Leona shouted toward the doorway.

To my surprise Pen rushed in, "hey you" she smiled cupping my face in her hands, "hey" I smiled.

"There's someone who wants to see you honey, but only if you're up for it"

the soft tones of her voice were comforting to me, "sure" I replied.

Henry walked in, hand in hand with JJ. She whispered in his ear, "be gentle".

He walked over to me cautiously sitting on the end of the bed. His legs hung over the edge.

"Are you okay?" he said looking down at his feet.

"I'm fine Henry, I'm fine... come here" he hugged me, his arms rested on my shoulders.

"Hey Henry do you want to go see your Dad?" Leona said picking him up, walking out with him and Penelope, leaving me and JJ alone.

She sighed, as she sat.

"I'm fine JJ seriously",

"I'm sorry, I never meant to do that to you, this is all my fault if I hadn't have texted you none of this wouldn't have happened, I was just trying to help and I screwed up-"

"stop, please-" I interrupted

"This is not your fault. It's not your fault that we went out, and we saw her, it was just bad timing, it is one of those shitty things that happens, okay?

It is not your fault that I got shot, it was my choice to put the vest on Henry, and I would do it again, I know you would have done the same thing."

I reached out to hold her hand, "do you understand me JJ, okay?"

"yeah- yeah I do" she whispered, her voice catching in her throat. Her fingers resting on her collar bones, trying to stifle the burn in her throat.

She looked down at my hand in hers and squeezed it. "Is Henry okay?" I asked, "yeah he's fine" she replied

"because if not there's this guy I know I worked a couple of shifts with him, he's a paediatrician, he does therapy with kids, he's really good, and he owes me a favour so I could get him in for next week-"

I was rambling, I knew what childhood trauma could do to a kid, and I couldn't let the same thing happen to Henry.

"thank you" she replied, and even though it was a small thing, I knew what she meant.