heaven in a wildflower [criminal minds]

chapter fifteen - the great protector

(tw mentions of rape)

"let me do it"

"fine but I want to be there too"

Emily and Hotch open the door as slowly and quietly as possible, the sound still makes Spencer jump.

He curls his hands into a fist to try to stop them from shaking.

"Reid," Emily says quietly.

He looks up from his hands to see Hotch and Emily sitting opposite him.

"we're just going to talk through what happened, okay? We want to see whether you can help us out" Emily says.

Spencer's eyes kept focused on his hands, he tried to explain what happened but his words were detached and his sentences strung together.

Hotch was taken aback by the unusual tone of his voice.

"There were like 4 men, James and some others, they would um, well they would come in and beat her, and ask about the daughter, I- I tried to tell them we didn't know, I really did, but they didn't listen- They um. They made me watch"

Spencer couldn't even look at them, his throat began to burn, he really did try to stay calm but his hands began to shake.

Emily nodded to Hotch who got up slowly and walked out closing the door gently behind him.

Looking at Spencer brought an uncomfortable feeling in the bottom of his stomach, Hotch had never seen Reid this angry, it was an emotion that was familiar to both of them, but this time it was different, it was strong and overruling.

Emily looked at Spencer, his face was tired and pale, his hands were shaking and his body swaying slightly in the chair.

She extended her hand and placed it over his on the table. "Spence" she said,

the tone of her voice confused him, she sounded scared, he looked up at her and she sighed.

"Did they rape her?" she asked.

Spencer's free hand swiped his hair out of his face grabbing a chunk of it forcefully pushing his hand against his head and over his face.

He looked at Emily and then down to their hands on the table, placing his other hand over hers.

She squeezed his hand lightly, indicating him to answer.

"I don't know" he sighed "they touched her because they knew I hated it."

"I don't know" he repeated, "they beat her and then took her away"

his voice was shaky "I- I don't know"

Spencer couldn't take it being in that room any longer, he stood up quickly, he needed to be alone, he needed to breathe.

He walked past the team and up some stairs to the roof of the precinct.

Running across the roof he was violently sick in the corner; he sank slowly into the floor coughing, his mouth filled with a bitter sensation.

Hugging his knees as the cold of the open-air wrapped around him.

He pressed the back of his head violently against the brick wall applying pressure, he tried to get the images of Esme out of his head.

He screwed his eyes shut and pressed his face into his hands.

Garcia wiped her tears and took a deep breath before opening the fire escape door leading to the roof.

She saw Spencer broken, crawled up against a crumbling brick wall.

She walked over slowly and leaned against the wall with a heavy forceful exhale.

She sank down to sit next to Spencer, she didn't need to say anything, her presence was enough to calm him.

He grabbed her hand and held it tightly as they both looked over the lights of the city, the sounds of cars and sirens were distant.

The night is cold, the air filled with the crisp after-rain feeling.

The sky was so clear they could see stars hovering over the skyline.

The light pollution sat below the stars over the city, it looked like a halo protecting the city.