Chapter Six

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"You mean to tell me this food is ready? You mean to tell me I can't find food to eat in my house by 6pm? Salmah you have become completely useless! Even food you can't meet up"

I remember the day my dad barged into my stepmother's room to complain of his food. It always baffled me how he found it rather convenient to tear her down without blinking his eyelashes, he didn't care who was there, he didn't care if she'd be hurt, he'd call her out, call her names, make her cry but she'd still stay!!!! I kept wondering If she was glued to the marriage, or if my dad had dirts on her because to be honest I could never let a man treat me like this but every time I ask her why she stays regardless of all these troubles she'd always smile and say

"Kareema, when you have kids you will understand, you don't just pack your bags and leave your husband's house because he's not doing the right thing, I have come too far to leave, I can never change the fact that he's the father of my kids"

It all boils down to society!! I will never understand our obsession with marriages, even when it's hurting the woman she's expected to swallow all the pills because where else would she go to? My question is where did she come from? She wasn't  picked up from the gutters, she's a daughter first before she turned to a wife and a mother but above all she's human before she's any of these nouns,pronouns adjectives and what's not. One's mental health should never have to be a quid pro quo for anything at all! Most especially a woman's sanity! A sane woman births a sane home.

"Yi hakuri, I got back from the market late but the food is almost ready"

She'd replied meekly with all the submission one can ever imagine. There he stood by the door fuming and gracing her with nothing but contempt! To start with, he gave her money for shopping late, and he very well knew she had a lot to buy, this same woman has been working round the clock since dawn, my dad won't eat any food that isn't prepared by her and his breakfast had to be ready before 7am regardless of the day of the week. I looked at my parents' union and really wonder if this is what marriage is and why the hell is everybody rushing into it because from where I'm standing this looks exactly like glorified slavery!

      Submerging myself into more books and interacting with other people made me realize that as much as marriage isn't exactly perfect it's not as monstrous as my daddy makes it look, but the deed has been done. I already had a phobia for marriage. I had ended two beautiful relationships because both occasions the men just woke up and felt like we should get married and I'd looked them square in the eyes and told them I didn't want to marry them. I remember Hassan one sweet fine shuwa perfection!

          After the messy break up with Jabir, I'd met Hassan exactly two months later, it wasn't one of those romantic meetings neither was it one of those cliche meetings movies paint. It was the regular 21st century type of thing I was on twitter doing my thing, tweeting random things and enjoying the cruise. I remember tweeting about how I love Colleen Hover's "It ends with us" and he'd replied saying the book wasn't all that dope and we were just fangirling Colleen for nothing. We got into bants, comparing her works with the likes of Nora Robert, John Griesham and co. It was an interesting conversation and he'd asked if I wanted to read a book by Ann Todd, told him I'd be glad and he asked for my email in the Dm, I obliged and the rest is history! We conversed more about books and poetry, he made me happy, although an engineer he made time for me, he always made sure there was time for us to discuss books and more books, he showered me with books and complements! He was the complete thing he had his flaws but they were something I could completely live with seeing that I myself isn't perfect. About 15 months into the relationship Hassan had woke me up around 2am and complained of an inability to sleep, wasn't his first, he had problems sleeping at night so I woke up and we got talking about random things, he made me laugh like a schoolgirl going candy shopping after a long time. Conversations flowed freely with Hassan, there was never an awkward moment. We had a lot in common when it comes to interest, he loved my kind of music, loved my kind of date nights he felt like home.

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