EPIPHANY

CHAPTER THREE

Pretty woman, he loves to call me pretty woman, he likes how my eyes lit and my pupils dilate when he whispered the two words as one, Ahmad was my weakness how he changed into my strength still keeps me awake at night.

I felt choked by my own breath, I felt trapped in my head like my mind is playing a game of puzzles with me

"Dinner is not ready? What's all this nonsense if you don't want this marriage fa just say it and it will be over before you blink! Kullun you are always making me shout and it's totally out of my character"

Ahmad started about 30 minuets  after he came back and broke the news of his new wedding to me. For the love of God it was only a few minute past 5pm, who ate dinner that early?

I was busy turning semonvita in the kitchen while he stood by the entrance hands akimbo, you'd think I'm the one getting the new husband and he was the first wife!

You see this thing called marriage? Let me just remind you dear girl that unlike the men who get to do it Four times you get to do it only once so do your self a favor and make sure the one person you chose is one who will hold it down for you eternally.

"I'm talking to you Kareema! See I'm not going to have you disrespecting me like this! Cooking is the only thing you do right in this marriage, you haven't been able to at least miscarry a child let alone birth one yet you keep getting pompous by the day! What are you proud of even? Your fruitless womb?"

These words cut right through my veins and I could feel blood gushing and aiming for my head! No he didn't just use my childlessness against me! No he didn't!! Of course he did!
It's been only three years and this?

I took my hands off the turning stick, turned off the gas burner. Swallowing a chunk of emotion I didn't even know I had stuck in my throat I picked up my phones and started for the door, Ahmad stood not letting me pass, I honestly didn't want to talk so I raised my lashes and looked at him like he was filth, honestly that's exactly what he was at that moment.

"Damn Kareema I'm sorry, what tha fuck I swear I don't even know why I said that"

Emotional abuse is a normal sport for Ahmad, he'd say all sort of hurtful words just to hurt you, who said your partner has to hit you before they abuse you?

With my heart splashed all over my sleeves, my emotion naked and raw, eyes blazing with fire, anguish and regret I stood looking at the "love of my life" indeed wondering what it was exactly that drew me to him at the first instance. Oh! I remember it was the cheeky smile that lit up a dark and how he  always remembered to buy me one thing or the other, he bought my heart with little gestures like what he pulled on my 24th birthday;

I was in campus, rushing to get home as my last lecture for the day was canceled, I was with a few friends talking random topics and laughing at mundane things when my phone rang

"Babe din babe, happy birthday to you once again"

Who else? My Ahmad called again for the fourth time that day, I was feeling extremely special, adored and loved! My biggest mistake is confusing attention for love!
My smile was big it almost covered my plain face

"Babeyn babe, thank you"

I replied

"Tou lover girl! You guys have started"

I heard Jamila say but I ignored her, common I was talking to the love of my life the entire universe stood still

"I dunno what you are up to today, I am having a busy day at work, and Baba sent me to go pick up some work plan from your house, can you help me pick it up and send Sadiq with it?"