Jily ~ Oneshots

Tribute to Female Problems; Uno

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but I'm quite the feminist and I like to include female problems into my stories. This little tid-bit will hopefully be the first of many funny oneshots including female problems.

DISCLAIMER J.K ROWLING OWNS EVERYTHING!!!!

POV: Third Person (James Potter and Lily Evans)
Rating: PG-13
Description: Periods, cramps, mood swings, and lots of attitude. How will James ever cope?
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A Big Red Problem~     
 
            She was sure this was what death felt like and if it was her time to go, she wasn’t going to complain. Anything was better than this—this gut wrenching pain that was quite literal if she might add. Her legs curled around in the sheets and she squeezed her pillow tighter, willing the agony to leave her. Silently cursing every single God out there, including the Greek, Roman, and Egyptian. 

Shit, a sterilization procedure sounded good right now. She’d regret thinking that later but that was fine because future her probably wouldn’t be in any pain, now would she? Lily groaned and shifted her body along her bed, hoping for some better position to relinquish the pain she was enduring. 

Lily felt her boyfriend roll over—the lucky bastard—and pull her into his grasps. She yanked herself away from him, she was in no mood to be on the receiving end of his inevitable weight. All muscle weight, she chided to herself to make herself think that it was completely fine for him to lay on her even though he weighed a ton. 

She gripped her pillow, ready to slap him with it if necessary. 

“Touch me and you're a dead man, James Fleamont Potter,” she hissed at him, kicking him away from her with her toe and throwing his arms over his own body. If needed something to hug he had himself. Hell, he had Sirius.

“That’s my angel.” He cooed softly, laughing a little bit, “what’s got you all in a twist, hmmm?” He leant down over her to kiss her cheek but she shoved his face away with her hand and got up and out of bed, leaning her hand against the banister. 

“I meant it.” Her voice cool and collected, yet she felt like collapsing, curse her period, this was ridiculous. She should be stronger than this. 

“What did I do?” James was instantly on alert, he sat up reaching for his glasses. His mind, it was racing with things and ideas of what he could have done over the last couple of hours he was asleep. 

Did he talk?

Did he have some offencing dream he couldn’t remember? 

Did she have an offencing dream where he did something wrong? 

Should he start apologizing right now before she could really go at it? 

So many possibilities…...it was driving him to utter insanity. 

“Nothing, it just hurts.” She let out a whimper of pain and it followed with a hiss. 

Realization struck him like brick to the face—he winced mentally. Dear Merlin this was going to be a long week, his expression softened and he slowly climbed out of bed giving her time to move in case she didn't want him next to her. 

“Do you want to shower?” He asked, his plaid pajama pants (AN: Haha Alliteration) rubbing on his legs. She frowned and shook her head. 

“No, ‘cause then my hair will be all wet, and my hair will get my clothes wet, and then I’ll be cold.” Lily complained, shifting her weight. Was it just her or did he feel winded in the mornings too? 

He didn’t seem winded, maybe it was just her. 

James tried not to laugh at her reasons, “love, we can just dry your hair if it’s that big of a deal.” She just glared at him, he wasn’t sure if providing her with an answer to her meager problem was the right thing to say. 

It hardly ever was. 

“But it takes so long to blow dry my hair.” She complained, this time a sliver of a laugh came out of him and she shot him a glare. “It’s not funny.” Lily reprimanded. How could he possibly laugh at her dilemma? How dare he offer compatible solutions to her problem. (AN: Is this just a me thing or does anyone else get frustrated when someone offers you a solution?) 

“I’m sorry for laughing, but darling you have a wand.” James pointed out, taking a step closer to her. She let him, they both knew that James didn’t do very well with his own personal space or better yet lack of it. He loved receiving hugs or just pats on the back, he was very unlike Lily in that way. 

Lily let out a long sigh, “well, alright. If you're so persistent I’ll go shower, but I’m going to hate every second of it.” She informed him, stalking off, wobbling a little in the beginning of her steps. 

Definitely not the right thing to say. 

But after her shower she seemed content to be near him unlike earlier this morning when she practically threw him off of her. After her hair was dried and did everything else that she insisted needed to be done, like making the bed, giving his baby kitten a snack, checking to make sure her favorite candle was in it’s safe proclaimed spot on the floating bookshelf, and other various things. They set off for breakfast. 

Lily clutched his arm, hugging it tight, nuzzling her nose into his bicep. She held his hand and stayed close to him even when he stopped in the hallway to talk to three different people and Professor McGonagall. 

“Bye, Professor! See you later!” He called to McGonagall as the Professor walked away having said what she needed to tell the head students. “Are you ready for breakfast?” James asked his girlfriend, who hadn’t moved an inch since they left the Head’s Common room. 

He wasn’t going to complain of course, what was there to complain about? He didn’t mind Lily’s clingy moments, he adored them if anything since they were quite rare. 

“I’m not hungry,” she insisted, the tumbles of nausea held her stomach captive. 

“Will you at least drink some tea?” He asked after a moment, thinking before speaking his thoughts aloud. 

“If it pleases you.” Lily murmured, walking beside him in the Great Hall, taking a seat next to him. Not even seconds after Sirius plopped down next to Lily, sliding a pink mug of tea over to her. Her favorite mug if she might add. 

“How are you feeling, Mrs. Marauder?” Sirius kidded with her and then shrugged when James gave him a look. “What if we're tracking Moony’s furry little problem, I figured tracking Lily’s big red problem wouldn’t be much harder.” 

“Thanks, Sirius.” She muttered rhetorically, but Sirius just flashed her a smirk. 

Lily took a sip of the tea, chamomile. She loved the feeling of warm tea going down her throat, “I’m feeling alright, thanks for asking.” She yawned briefly, her hand still clutching James’. 

“Hey, Lils.” James said after a moment of pondering thought, he reached for a bowl. 

“Yes,” she answered, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

He thought about how he should word this, he didn’t want her to get all worked up. “I love you, I really do, but I need my hand to eat my cereal.” Lily gave him a confused look, cocking her head to the side. 

“But I’m holding your right hand, your left handed.” She pointed out and returned to her previous position. 

Okay, her logic had a point, but eating cereal was a hands on experience and he needed both of them. 

“I know that, darling.” He sighed, trying to find something to say without hurting her feelings. 

“I’m failing to see the problem.” She muttered contently. 

This was going to be one hell of a long week. 

Hope you like it, I thought it was funny. Comment what you think!!