Pucker Up {h.s}

Chapter Twenty One - San Diego (Pt.3)

"Hello?" Niall pulled his phone up to his ear and motioned up his finger, stepping back. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I could see the way Niall's face was gradually falling.

"What- what do you mean? How could you possibly-" He looked up at me and all it took was the look on his face and I knew something was wrong. It didn't help matters that I could hear my mom asking Harry where we were.

"Yeah, thanks." He dropped his phone and slipped it back into his pocket, his head hung and his head lightly shaking from side to side.

"Is everything alright, Ni? Did something happen?" I outstretched my arm in an attempt to grab his shoulder, and I could feel my heart sink to my butt when he jerked back from my touch.

"You kissed Liam." He said, not even a question as he looked up at me, his eyes were shiny and his lips were pursed into a tight line.

I starred at him for a second, looking down at my hands and fiddling with the ends of my nails. I hadn't anticipated on this conversation, I hadn't anticipated for Liam to even tell anyone. Liam.

"It was an accident-" I started, "An accident?" He interjected, his voice loud and wavering, booming through the tight space in the hallway. "You can't accidentally kiss someone, Erin!"

That's when my own eyes started to fill over with tears, my head ducking in an attempt to block his words. This couldn't be happening, I was sleeping, that was the only explanation, we're still in the car and I'm sleeping.

"How could you, we put you in that room together so you could make amends and be friends again, not so you could snog him like you're in bloody high school again!" He followed that with a soft tiff, and when I looked up I could see his hands threaded through his hair.

"I'm such an idiot, how could I have ever thought that plan would work well." He said more to himself than to me, looking up in my direction after. "Say something, Erin, jesus christ, say something!"

"What do you want me to say Ni?" I scream. "I made a mistake." 

"Do you still have feelings for him?" He asks. Tears fall down his cheeks and my voice sticks in my throat. 

"So I'm guessing that's a yes." He says. His voice slightly cracks at the end. I open my mouth but words aren't coming out. 

"Jesus Erin. You can't just do this one thing for me?" He asks. I'm trying to talk but the words won't come out. 

I think about everything I had ever been through with Liam. The stolen kisses in between classes. The nights he snuck into my house to spend the night. The times he would grab my hand. All the dates we went on. All the late night calls and texts. Even the simplest I love you's and I miss you's. With him I had history. With Liam I had my first love. But with Liam there was uncertainty. 

But then there are the things I have with Niall. The little laughs. The smiles. The kisses. The hugs. All the nights we cuddled. All the times he looked out from the stage to sing to me. All the times my heart fluttered because he touched my shoulder. Or my leg. With Niall I had certainty. I knew he cared about me. And I cared about him. But I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to love him yet. 

"Ni I...." I trail off thinking about what to say. I take a shaky breath. "Ni I don't know."  He sighs and sits down on the bed, putting his hands in his hair. We stay silent for awhile, listening to Harry's laugh echo through the halls. 

"I don't know if that's good enough for me." He says, breaking the silence. 

"So what does that mean?" I ask him. This time my voice cracks. 

"I... I don't know..." He says shakily. "I guess it means we should should take a break and think things over for awhile."

"Like.... break up?" I ask him, tears forming in my eyes. 

"Yeah. Like break up." He says. 

"If... if that's what you think is for the best than I guess that's what we will do." I say. 

"We have a little break from tour after this show." Ni tells me. "I'm going to go back to England for awhile before the tour starts back up. I think that everyone else is staying here in L.A. I'm going to fly up if they need me for anything."

"I won't see you for three weeks?" I ask him. He nods. "When are you leaving?"

"Right now." He says. "I was going to have you come with me but...."

"But it's better if I stay here." I tell him. He nods again and stands up. I stay silent as he walks out of the room. It's too hard to say goodbye. I watch as Ni walks out the door. I watched as he walked out of the house. I watched as his car left the neighborhood. I watched him leave. And I let him go. I let him leave me. And some part of me was glad to have the weight of that kiss of my chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So it's Madeline. HEYY! This is the first chapter that I have written but Hanna did write the first part so shout out to her. I haven't even talked to you yet but you seem really awesome. And Kenzie added some shout out to her too. 

So how many of you told your family members/friends/pets/neighbors about this book? If you did then you get an +A on this assignment. So congratulations you are passing our class. If not than do it now and you can get an +A too. AND IN MACKENZIE'S WORDS YOU ARE AMAZAYN IF YOU TOLD PEOPLE ABOUT OUR BOOK. 

Shout out to IrishandBritishHugs because her comments bring me life. She commented like three hilarious things last chapter. 

Question of the chapter: If you could be any car what would you be and why?

(My teacher asked that in class today, I said Hummer, I forgot what Kenzie said)