KaiShin Oneshot

Don't, Please[...]

Kaito and Shinichi's love for one another is something forbidden in the eyes of others but for them? It was something that formed the longer they spend time with each other that soon grew so deep that they can never live without one another anymore. It was funny to think that they ended up loving each other in the most unexpected way possible between two rivals, Detective and Phantom Thief, however that is something that made it special. That's why everyone that has known the couple for a every long time was left heartbroken when they found out what had happened to them. 

***

It's already been a week when cases keeps coming the detective's way that it's already impossible to get enough sleep, without the help of Hattori and his most trusted coffees he would be passing out by now. Even if Shinichi did get some time to rest he still wouldn't and would most preferably spend that time in his library to read until the sun goes down. Haibara has scolded him for it countless of times but to no avail, he wouldn't listen. 

Finally, after a week of non-stop visits to a crime scene and solving them, he got some time for himself and is now currently locking himself up in the library, not surprising indeed. 

With the pile of books on the ground next to the spot he's currently sitting down at, Shinichi is enjoying his time with a book in hand entitled, "The Sign of Four". Anyone can tell that despite the pages turning and his eyes wandering, he wasn't reading. They didn't want to address it since Shinichi wanted to return back to his normal life, acting as if nothing happened and trying his best to return to the way it was... before he had met Kaito.

The detective let out a sighed while closing the book and returning it back to it's shelf. It's not working. He's aware that no matter how many times he pretend that he's alright, everyone knows that he's not. Even right now nobody bothered him because they knew what today was, even Haibara who nags at him whenever he steps in the library didn't appeared.

Shinichi didn't noticed until now how painful it is, how tight his chest is, how heavy his heart is and how much he's bottling everything in. So that's why everyone wanted to leave him alone today...

To let it all out.

The pain that has been building up for a year.

He wanted to forget him, he wanted everything to be buried deep in his heart and the back of his memories for it to be forgotten however he couldn't.. if he did so the only thing that Kaito had left will be too painful for him to forget, their sweet memories together. Before he could even return back to his spot, flashes of memories with his beloved Phantom Thief appears before his eyes.

"A pleasant evening to you, Metantei. I see you're assisting the task force tonight~?"

"Glad to see you're doing well now that you're back to being Kudo Shinichi."

"Shut up.."

"Surprised!!! Didn't think we'll be attending the same university now did you, Shinichi~"

"Woah! You already had a hunched that I'm Kaitou Kid even before I revealed myself? Well you are THE Kudo Shinichi after all~"

"Shut up!"

"Shinichi wake up! We're already late for first perioddd"

"Uwaa, you sure this is safe to eat? I think I'll-  OUCH! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'M JUST KIDDINGGGG"

"Shinichi there's something I have been meaning to tell you, even before I revealed myself to you I have been carrying these back when you are still Edogawa Conan.. I-"

"STOP, PLEASE!"

"I love you, Shinichi."

"...I love you too, you idiot.. ugh- Kaito.." With a broken voice, he whispered those words painfully, saying his name for the first time in awhile is too much for him to handle. It hit him hard, Shinichi will not see him anymore, he will not hear his voice, see his magic tricks, see those grinned that he used to find annoying and.. those eyes that always seem to find his.. Kaito's dead.

And as if a switch has been turned on deep in his heart, he let it all out. While the memories he treasured played itself before him, he let the pain out, the unbearable pain he has been keeping for himself for a whole year when Kaito disappeared from his life, without ever returning back. Breaking down onto the ground, Shinichi screamed the pain out, shouted the regrets he's bearing and cried for his beloved's name with so much longing.. he wanted him back so much that he's willing to give everything up to be with his magician again.

"KAITO!!!"

Haibara couldn't bear to listened to the painful cries of the detective anymore as she left, feeling helpless that she cannot do anything that will soothe the pain Shinichi is feeling. She knows that he needed this, he needed to let it all out before it destroys him completely. It was already shocking that he lived a 'normal' life for a solid year, pretending that everything is alright and in denial with the fact that Kaito is already... gone. 

"Stay strong, Kudo-kun.."

***

"Kai..to?"

"Shhh, everything's gonna be alright so stay put and please, stay safe."

"No, I'm warning you don't even think about leaving! Stay-"

"I can't, if I did both of us will die-"

"I don't care! We can think of a different plan to get away from this place so please... don't leave me."

"...I'm sorry Shinichi but I rather die alone than let you come with me."

"DO YOU REALLY THINK I'LL AGREE TO THIS!-"

"I love you, Shinichi."

***

A/N: Sorry but I'm gonna end it like this, damn I cried while writing this that it'll be too painful to even write a decent flashback on how Kaito died. 

Confirmation: Yes, he indeed died in the hands of the Black Organization. The flashback at the ending is the last conversation they had before Kaito left Shinichi to distract the men chasing after them. Shinichi spend a year pretending that nothing happened, still sending Kaito some messages and calling his already dead phone as if he's still.. alive. He finally broke down at Kaito's death anniversary. 

Edited: Next update will be connected to this so in advance.. I'm sorry-