Can Yaman International Presents: Aşk ve Gurur~ Love and Pride

Chapter 11: Sadece Ikimiz (Just the Two of Us)

At the end of Chapter 10, Part 2:  He gathered me up in his arms and made soothing noises while he ran his hands over my hair and my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to calm myself down because my tears could be construed as manipulative. I wanted to start again from a place of honesty and truth. He had built his walls in the time we were apart and they were formidable but I was strong and determined. I had not come all this way to give up now. We heard voices outside on the terrace. He moved away and walked to the door as he said, "I should go." "I'm going to leave my light on. Come to me tonight," I whispered. He paused before opening the door and leaned his forehead against it. After taking a deep breath, he left. Without looking back.

(Author's Note: Please read to the end of the chapter and leave a comment. Are you enjoying the storyline? Don't forget to vote too. Thank you!)

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I waited but Can didn't show. Out of hope and feeling out of sorts, I left my room and walked through the quiet house down to the library. This room was usually my refuge but tonight, nothing relieved my heartache. I thought about going to him but it was clear to me now that he was serious about us just being friends. I had to respect that.

Despondent, I looked out of the window at the inky night when my eyes caught on something breaking the unrelenting darkness. My breath hitched. I looked closer and before my brain registered what it was seeing, my legs were moving. Can was sitting on the grass, his arms laced loosely around his drawn-up legs, looking pensive and resigned.

"Have you been waiting long?" I asked him, unable to keep the smile off my face.

"I never left," he muttered. "Do you have something to say to me?"

I lowered myself to the ground and sat opposite him. I looked down at my white dress and his white clothes and was suddenly struck by a memory.

"I do. You may not believe this but I've already seen this moment in my dreams."

His eyes met mine. They were burning with suppressed emotions. "Did I have the strength to leave in your dream?" He asked, sounding bitter at his lack of self-control.

I leaned closer and whispered against his lips, "Why don't you want to see me?

"You really need to ask me that? Because I don't want you," he said in a strangled voice as his eyes drifted to my lips.

"Why?" I insisted when his mouth hovered over mine.

"I don't love you. Why don't you understand?" he said desperately.

"I don't believe you. The way you look at me, the way you touch me. I don't believe you."

He buried his face in my neck, inhaled deeply, and muttered in my ear, "I don't want to talk. I need to go." But he made no move to leave.

"Why are you running away from me?" I asked him again.

He was silent. Then his lips brushed my ear and his rough whisper shook me to my very core. "Because I love you."

How my body could contain so much love, I will never know. "Then why don't you want to be with me?"

"Because I love you more than myself." He let out a long pent-up breath. "And I'm afraid that you don't feel for me one-tenth of what I feel for you." He added these words so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

My eyes filled with tears. For such a man to admit something like this... my heart broke in two. I did this; I made him afraid. I understood now that his rejection of me was a last-ditch, desperate attempt at self-preservation.