Can Yaman International Presents: Aşk ve Gurur~ Love and Pride

Chapter 9: Phoenix

At the end of Chapter 8:  (Can) Then my head lowered to hers of its own volition. Her lips parted and our breaths mingled. My heart was broken, my pride was in tatters, but I still couldn't break this unholy spell. "You have said quite enough," she whispered unsteadily. "I understand your feelings now and I'm only ashamed of what my own have been." She moved back a step and said, "Forgive me for taking up your time." "Wait!" I said. I took a folded scrap of pink fabric out of my shirt pocket. It had been tied to my wrist or folded next to my heart even before I knew it had been her that night on the balcony. I put it in her hand and she looked up at me in shock. "This belongs to you. I don't want it anymore."

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Sanem:

A broken heart is such a minimalistic term, I thought. It should be called a broken body. My entire being was submerged in pain and I had no idea how to resurface. Silent tears streamed non-stop. I didn't even have the energy to cry in earnest.

This morning I woke up with a heart bursting with love and hope. Can's scent was still on my pillows. But the threat of losing him forever made me frantic and I decided to take the leap. Live my life on my own terms and grab this incredible, unexpected love with both hands. I dreamed of rushing to his side and ending the day in his arms. Seeing his dazzling smile as I surrendered my heart to him. But this will not happen and now I am in mourning, cold, alone, and stunned into immobility.

"You're the last woman I'd ever consider marrying," were Can's last words. They would haunt me until the day I died. I don't know how I got back to the house or how I ended up in bed with Ayhan worriedly wiping my tears. I was clutching the pink scarf in my hand.

"Sanemsie, please tell me what's wrong. If you don't, I'll call 'you know who' and you don't want that. Do you?"

I didn't care. I found it hard to care about anything right now. At some point, I fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed of a dazzling, dimpled smile, of lips trailing softly over my face, of melting brown eyes and a low raspy voice whispering in my ear, "I don't love you. Why don't you understand?"

That's when I woke up with a start, feeling my lungs seize up and the panic starting to crawl slowly over me. Ayhan was snoring softly next to me. I ran into the bathroom so as not to wake her but it was too late. Her terrified face appeared in my wavering vision. She got up to call for help but I shook my head wildly.

"Focus on me." I heard Can's voice and saw his concerned face in my mind. I closed my eyes and remembered breathing with him while his strong arms held me so protectively.

When I emerged from the worst of it, Ayhan was watching me with fearful eyes.

"Please tell me what is happening?" she said. I can hear the anxiety in her voice and see the fear in her eyes.

"I'm okay," I said with a wobbly smile and she gave me a very skeptical look. While she wiped my face with a cool cloth, I heard myself ask, "Do you think I'm turning into our mother?"

Ayhan seemed surprised by the question. She answered me saying, "You have a heart. You could never turn into her. What is going on with you? I've never seen you like this."

I had to confess it so I said the words. "I fell in love."

She looked at me doubtfully, "I've never been in love before but if it's going to make me look like a zombie, no offense, I want no part of it. Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "It's Mr. Tall, Buff, and Handsome, isn't it?"