My Brothers Best Friend (Mike Dirnt)

Part Eighteen

Pain. That's all I felt, pain as I opened my eyes. I looked down at the stitches on my stomach before finding my whole room empty. Where was Mike and everyone else? Suddenly Mike's Mom walked in. (His adopted mother's name is Cheryl) "Hey! Cheryl, where is Mike?" I asked, my brows furrowing. I wanted to see my Mike. "He's okay honey, he's just with the baby. He will be up in a moment. I'll call him if you want to speak to him. I nodded. "Please." I said quietly, making her type in his number and hand me her phone. "Mike." I said. "Babe! You're awake, you alright?" Mike said me, his voice was raspy as if he had been crying. My baby. "Mike, is she okay?" I asked, making Mike Let out a light chuckle.
"Yeah... HE is just fine. They've stabilized him... for now anyway" Mike said, putting emphasis on "He"... it was a boy. "It was a boy all along." I almost chuckled. "Yeah. Do you want me to send a nurse for you?" Mike asked me. "Yes. Please. I want to see my baby." I frowned. "Okay. You got it. I love you." Mike said quietly, hanging up before I got to tell him I loved him back. Within minutes a nurse was in my room, helping me into a wheelchair. She began to speak to me as she pushed me down the hall. "Ma'am... I know it's gonna be hard. But try not to panic too much. The baby was dangerously premature." The nurse frowned at me, I can handle it. My baby is alive and that's all that matters. "Caleb is alive and that's all that matters." I smiled to the nurse. "I'm glad you're staying optimistic." The nurse said to me, rolling me into the room. "Hey, you think you can stand up?" Mike asked me, I nodded. Standing up perfectly fine. "You alright?" The nurse asked me, I nodded. "Try not to be alarmed... okay?" Mike asked me. I nodded, just wanting to see Caleb. He walked me over to a small clear box, shielding my baby off from the rest of the world. The first rays of the morning light shining though and reflecting off the box. I finally caught a glimpse of my baby and clasped my hands over my mouth. Tubes, in my baby's nose and throat. He was small and looked almost malnourished. His small body was bruised... he was sleeping peacefully however, his eyes closed as his body was stretched out. "He's sleeping a lot, but that's because his body is still developing." Mike answered to me, tears now slipping down my cheeks. I couldn't help but feel that this was somehow my fault. "It's not your fault, sweetheart." Mike said, pulling me closer as if he was reading my mind. "Is he going to make it?" I asked softly. "He's stable now. But the doctors told me it would be a miracle if he saw tomorrow." Mike frowned. This made the tears flow harder. My baby may not even be here tomorrow. "We can't even touch him. He needs to stay untouched so his body can focus on finishing development." Mike frowned. I admired my baby's facial features, reminiscent of Mike's. He looked just like Mike. "He looks like you." I smiled. "I know." Mike smiled back. "Gonna be handsome, just like his dad." Mike joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Yes, He will." I smiled. "If it's any compensation... he's survived longer than most children who are born that premature." The nurse said behind us, this gave me some bit of hope. "Really?" I smiled, turning to her, I could see the joy on Mike's face as well. "Yes, I have hope that your boy is gonna make it." The nurse smiled at me. I needed this more than anything, reassurance. "I'm Anna. But just call me Ann." The nurse smiled at Mike and I. "I know what you're going through. My baby was premature." The nurse said, it helped me that she knew what I was feeling to an extent. "Thank you, Ann... I'm Mike, and that's Makayla." Mike smiled at her, this made her nod. "Nice to meet you two." She smiled at us. She then walked away, tending to her job as Mike and I turned back towards our small baby. "He's only 5 pounds." Mike frowned at me. "That's so small." I frowned. I heard the doors open behind us before I heard Billie and Trè. "You're awake!" They said excitedly. Trè walked over hugging me. "I was so fucking worried." Trè frowned. "Does mom and dad know?" I asked. "Yeah." Trè responded. This hit deep. Even after finding out that I went into labour 3 months early, my parents didn't bother to come see me. "I'm glad you're okay." Billie sighed in relief, hugging me. "How's Ava?" This made me smirk. "It's Caleb.. not Ava." I chuckled. "Ah... so it's a boy." Trè smiled. This made me nod. "Can we see him?" Billie asked, making me gesture to the small box with my baby in it. They walked over, their expressions went from happy to shocked as I frowned. "I reacted that way too." I sighed. "God... I didn't expect it to be this bad." Billie frowned. "Is he gonna make it?" Trè asked me. This made me sigh. The reality crashing back. There was no pretending that my baby was born healthy and happy. "They said he would be lucky if he made it." I sighed, Trè and Billie's eyes tearing up. "That's awful.." Billie said, sighing. The room stayed deathly silent as we all looked down at the small baby. The machines helping Caleb being the only sound above Mike's laboured breathing beside me. I can tell this is killing him. "Mike, can we go talk?" I asked, he nodded in silence before I walked him back to my room. "Mike... what's wrong?" I asked. He scoffed at me. What the fuck?

Mike's P.O.V:
"Mike... what's wrong?" Makayla asked me, her blue eyes piercing through me. I scoffed at her. What does she mean what's wrong with me? This is all my fault. I should've kept a better eye on her, I should have been awake. If I had done something different. Maybe we'd be okay. Maybe Caleb would be okay. My heart battled with my mind, my heart saying this was no ones fault and sometimes these things happen, but my mind telling me otherwise. "I need fresh air." I frowned, unsure of what else to say. I can't see her right now. I can't cry in front of her. I felt the lump in my throat, the stinging in my eyes. "I'll be back." I said, walking past her before I felt her small hand around my wrist. "You're not going anywhere, Michael." She frowned, this made me look down at her. I can't do this. Not now. I failed her and my baby. "Let go of me." I said, yanking my hand from her as I left the hospital room. I stumbled down the hallway, knowing I would pay for that later. Showing my emotions... isn't something I'm good at. I stepped out to the front of the hospital, the Warm air hitting me in the face. (It's May 1st) Normally I wouldn't do this but, fuck it. It's something to take the edge off. I pulled the package of Cigarettes out of my pocket. Taking one and lighting it. I puffed in the toxic air, the pain in my chest not going away. The pain of knowing that I couldn't fix this. It was my one job to protect Makayla and Caleb. And I fucking failed at that. I heard the hospital doors open behind me. And Trè stepped out. "Mike. We need to talk right now." He growled. Fuck. Here's the punishment from earlier. "What, Trè?" I asked, taking another huff of my cigarette. "I hope you fucking know Makayla is hurting just as much as you are. What you did to her, wasn't cool." Trè frowned at me, almost as if I didn't know that. "I know Trè.. it's just... goddammit.... it was my job to protect her. And my baby. I let them down." I sighed, throwing my cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. "Mike.. you know as well as I do. This wasn't your fault. Not hers either." Trè sighed, putting his hand on my back. "I know that deep down. But. I can't help but think that if I did something-" "Mike. You couldn't have done anything different. And you can't let Makayla go through this alone. I can't imagine how you feel. But you can't just abandon her. She's feeling just as terrible as you." Trè said, making me nod. The stinging in my eyes again. "I-I know." I sighed. "Let's go back to her." Trè smiled. "Okay." I agreed. Walking back inside with him. I have to apologize to her. And I have to Do it now. Trè was right. She's hurting too. And I have to be there for her. Pain or not.