Tweedledumb and Tweedletwee
Went a-waltzing by the quay
Dressed in all their finery
Bought from some old charity.
They stopped at Twaddle's on their way
And asked if he would like to stay
A month in their edsit-bay
(Cultured in Latin by the way!)
A cup of tea was later had
Whilst they talked to a college grad
And all pretended to be sad
Since none of them were really mad.
They took a picture of their mugs
To tweet at all the twitterbugs
They all said they were taking drugs
But they had never heard of plugs.
They buy cigs until they're broke
Despite the fact that they don't smoke
I warrant it would make them choke
Until they burn their shirt (bespoke).
The boys in trench-coats, beige and brown
Strut like po about the town
From their noses they look down
A pair of leggings makes them frown.
The A-line skirts the girls all wore
Were purchased from a dirty store
And never washed 'till half-past-four
But still they looked down on the poor.
They tuck a book beneath their arm
And write some quotes across their palm
Then quote a Sunday service psalm
They think it lends a certain charm.
'Have you read Wilde? Have you read Chaucer?'
They spill their tea into the saucer
Language only getting coarser
They won't be learning anymore, sir.
They cannot think, can hardly read
Think that just their mouldy tweed
Will grant them all the brains they need
A philistine of different breed.
In a world of artifice
They blunder on in their faux bliss
And speak the devil of their kiss;
But come on, love, you're taking the piss!
YOU ARE READING
Poetic Injustice
HumorThe long-anticipated sequel to the indomitable 'Sarcastic Poetry'; this slim and elegant volume reprises its delectably deep understanding of the 21st Century zeitgeist, alongside the characteristic and markedly exquisite illustrations seen in its p...
