The assistant | Remus Lupin (on pause)

Am I going to die?

"... can't expect a fourteen year old boy ... fight ... devil demon man .... himself." A voice mumbled in my ear.

".. would help him ... obviously .... can't do ... himself!" Another one slurred.

"..... what about ... Reeves? She deserves to know .. when .... bloody wakes up." One voice said a bit clearer.

"Give it time," someone scoffed, "... did get attacked ... by Voldemort .... kid form."

"Hush!" An old woman shouted. "He ... must not be ... is his .. name!"

It went silent before I heard another voice say, "Will she even wake up? The fact of the matter is that she hasn't woken up. At all. No movements no—"

Everything turned white and the sound paused. Or everyone collectively turned silent.

I saw the white fade into colors, those colors faded into shapes, and those shapes faded into people.

There I saw Regulus, standing at the foot of the bed, with shock riddling his features. Remus stood behind him, with furrowed brows.

I woke when Regulus spoke but I didn't wake when Remus spoke.

No .. it meant nothing. My brains clock just went off at the moment he began to speak. That was all.

"Never mind." Regulus muted quite loudly.

Surrounding the .. where was I?

I looked around slowly to see I was in a bed, in a room that took in too much light. The walls were stone and a sheet covered some part of the room.

I was in the hospital wing, I assumed.

Anyways, surrounding the hospital bed was Remus, Dumbledore, Snape sadly, a person with purple hair, Sirius for some reason, and Regulus.

I couldn't tell who that purple haired person was, however I couldn't help but marvel at their necklace. It looked so intricate and different. Nothing like anything I'd ever seen before.

"Where's Harry?" I blurted out.

The last time I saw that boy he looked half dead. I was worried, as one would be.

Remus chuckled in his normal fashion and said, "Resting in his dormitory. He's fine."

"You aren't though." Regulus stated firmly.

Everyone turned to look at him and he simply raised his eyebrows.

"What he means is that— well your body is healing very slowly. Slower than normal." Dumbledore said in a very calm manner.

"Slower than an infant." Regulus said again and someone hit his arm.

"Hey! I'm only telling her the truth, not sugarcoating it." He said to ... Sirius. They both looked almost the same, aside from obvious differences.

"Sometimes people need sugarcoating," Sirius sighed.

"Why..?" I said slowly. I went to sit up but then everyone ran towards me, their hands were out and trying to steady me down.

I looked to Remus, I tried searching his eyes. But he wasn't making eye contact with me.

"Well .. the dark lords back first off," the new person said with a care free shrug, "and you got into a fist fight with him."

"Well Tonks," Regulus sighed, "that's one way to put it."

I wasn't sure if that was truly something for me to feel proud of.

"And?" I asked. "What does this have to do with my healing?"

"Simple," Snape said in his normal creepy fashion, "the dark lord cursed you because of your stupid fist fight. You're put on his kill list. It's dangerous for us to even be in the same room as you," he paused, "Ms. Reeves."

"Don't say my name," I said with a new weakness in my voice. Sitting up catch up to my body and I slumped back down onto the pillows that were stacked slightly up. 

Remus pushed Snape back and walked to my side. He took my hand in a delicate manner, as if I was a paper doll, and he stared at me like I was a ghost. I hated how his eyes watered slightly, I hated how he didn't look at me as if I was myself. 

The only person to look at me with no sympathy was Regulus. He looked at me as if I was completely healthy. There was little to no worry on his face and there was no watery-ness in his eyes. 

My hand slid out of Remus's and went to my face. I felt swollen, and my hair felt greasy. 

"Regulus?" I asked quietly.

Regulus perked slightly at the mention of his name and awaited my follow up sentence. But this was something I only wanted to ask him. Seeing as he had been on the other side of the tracks before.

"Out, all of you out- but Regulose." I slurred slightly.

Remus's eyebrows furrowed and he looked between the two of us. His head didn't stop moving, or my eyes couldn't stop blurring. His expression looked hurt. But in that moment I was too weak to care.

I blinked and suddenly Regulus was the only one there sitting by my bedside. 

". . What does he want with me?" I mumbled, barely audible. 

That question must've caught him off guard, since he looked down and stared at the sheets. He put his hand down to trace the faint pattern in the bedsheets but my hand lazily landed atop of his. His skin was cold, a refreshing cold. 

He finally looked up and forced out a slight laugh, "I, uh, I don't know. You tested him and he doesn't like to be tested. It doesn't have to do with your person but ... your actions that day." 

Regulus chose his words carefully, although I liked when he didn't. I liked how he didn't talk down to me, he didn't sugarcoat anything, he didn't lie for my own comfort. 

I couldn't tell if I was going to pass out or if my eyes were watering. How embarrassing. Crying. For no reason other than having too many emotions. 

"Am I-" my voice stuck in my throat. "Am I going to die?" My voice cracked into about a million pieces as I spoke. 

I looked up at him and I noticed something. 

Everyone wore a mask, some better than others. I hadn't noticed he wore his for the entirety of my meeting him. And at that moment I saw it falter. I saw the slip in his eyes and I saw heartbreak. I saw a twinge of sadness in the flex of his cheek and the frantic moving of his eyes. 

I saw his heart break when he heard my voice malfunction.

We both sat, or stood, in silence for a good minute. Regulus was trying his hardest not to sugarcoat his words or make everything seem okay. 

"I can't guarantee you'll live, or die." He added that last part hastily.

"You're very strong Maeve, you practically sacrificed yourself for a simple child." He assured me but in all honest I couldn't help but feel regret.

It twisted in my gut and mixed with disgust. How on Merlin's Earth could I feel regret for saving a young boy? I didn't know how I did but I did. And I felt worse about more than I felt actual regret.

"I regret .. putting myself in that position." I let out a small, frail, sob. My eyes blinked a few times and I licked the dryness from my cracked lips.

Regulus took my hand, the one that was still atop his own, and squeezed it without any regard for gentle-ness. 

"I know you do," his voice was almost soothing in a way.

"I don't want him to see me like this. I'm not a doll." I inhaled and exhaled with a shakiness in my lungs.

Regulus somehow understood my words. Although it was hard for myself to even follow. Somehow he did.

He thought about it for a second then responded, "You don't have to see him again until you feel comfortable." 

I knew Remus had the best intentions but he wouldn't understand how much I hated being seen with that distorted lens. The lens of a poor and frail doll. 

"Thank you." I muttered.

Then I either drifted off into a peaceful slumber or my movements finally caught up to me.